Six Down
by FireMom ~ January 9th, 2008. Filed under: Health.Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our feed.
Today I had an appointment. You know, the appointment. The one that falls six weeks after birthing a child into the world. The one in which the doctor inspects things, visible and not-so-visible, to make sure that everything is in working order. The visit that brings up a green light in several areas of life. The one that causes many a mother to stress out about how things look and panic about being touched. I mean, do you remember internal exams during labor? None too comfortable! But, alas, it’s a necessary one. It’s normally good to make sure things have healed. And green lights are good.
I held off my shower until the last possible minute to assure cleanliness upon arrival. And then, of course, I had to wait forever because babies are always born at inopportune times! Didn’t that child know that I was sitting on an exam table, paper sheet around my expanded hip size, rocking LittleBrother’s car seat carrier with my foot? It was a balmy seventy degrees out today but that’s still rather chilly on a naked behind in a cold exam room.
Without being graphic, things checked out okay. And that’s always nice to hear. To boot, my doctor made me feel like a Superstar Mama for breastfeeding thus far, with only minor issue and planning on continuing long into the future. He went on and on, for quite some time, about the benefits. I didn’t bother telling him that he was preaching to the choir. But when he commented on LittleBrother’s chunking-out-cheeks, well, my pride soared a little. I did that! I did that!
But part of me is sad.
Say what?
That’s right. I’m sad. My doctor gave me a big ole bear hug at the end of the appointment. Probably not uber-professional. But I liked my doctor and my doctor liked me. (Not like that.) He cared for me and both of my parented children through two tumultuous pregnancies. He worked closely with me to ensure that the boys made it to term and were healthy and strong despite many complications. He shared laughter with us and consoled us when we had fears, when we had loss. And now? Well, our monthly-to-weekly meetings are now gone. For good. As LittleBrother will be the last one to join our family, I won’t have a reason to receive such stellar care in that manner. And, to make me even more sad, it wasn’t just my awesome doctor. I was close with at least one nurse (who was kind enough to pop in our room when I was in labor). And now? I’ll see them once a year if things go like they should health wise.
It’s the end of an era.
One would think I’d be glad to say goodbye to internal exams and peeing in a cup and sitting around with a chilly behind. But when your care is as good as mine was for both boys, well, it’s just kind of hard to say goodbye. That’s when you know that your care was top notch.
All that said: six weeks down, and, uh, a whole bunch more to go. (When do these kids turn eighteen? HA!)
January 9th, 2008 at 2:05 am
It is sad. It is sad to realize that they are the last one. It has been five years (five great years!) since the younger was born and it still makes me teary eyed. I loved pregnancy, I loved having babies. LOVED. And while I love raising my boys I cannot help but think what it would be like to have a daughter. Sigh.
The Domestic Goddess’s last blog post..I Do Not Feel Like Thinking Today
January 9th, 2008 at 2:18 am
Knowing exactly ow you feel…
January 9th, 2008 at 2:42 am
It is sad to think this is 99% likely the end of that frequent relationship, even though you’ll still see him on occasion. In fact, one of the things I realized I lost by being infertile was never getting the chance to develop that relationship with my doctor-he’s a family doctor but loves the OB side of things. We do still see him a lot since I see him for my visits, Widget’s visits, etc.
Hugs happen at my doctor visits too
To me, it is a sign of a doctor who really cares about his patients.
Erin’s last blog post..Britney
January 9th, 2008 at 3:31 am
I have to agree with Erin. I lost the opportunity to have that kind of relationship with my OB as well with 3 previous miscarriages. The OB office came to be a great source of anxiety for me in addition to the place that bad news always occured. For me I never had any evidence of my miscarriages until I went there and the ultrasound showed no heartbeat. Now we have moved on and adopted a wonderful daughter who is now 2 (and are in the process of adopting #2). The OB office is still a place of sadness to me - the things I missed out on and the memories of loss. Don’t get me wrong. I love my daughter, but I wish I could have experienced full pregancy, breast feeding, etc. Although my experience is very different than yours I totally get what you are saying.
I also feel that a doctor/PA/nurse practioner that hugs is fine in the right circumstance. I think it makes patients feel cared about. I say that as a PA myself!
January 9th, 2008 at 7:19 am
My ob for my firstborn was AMAZING (I got some hugs, too)! He was old school - but in a good way. He wasn’t afraid of tough deliveries (his c-section rate was only 3%), and was so awesome during my son’s delivery - he had such skill at getting him out of me - with just a bit of suction. I am convinced that I would have had a c-section with most other obs (which is sort of a moot point now, since my daughter turned breach, so I had a c-section, thank goodness because she was 9.5 pounds!) I was so sad when he moved his practice out of state after my son was born (my son was actually one of the last babies to be born in his hospital).
BethanyWD’s last blog post..My baby girl has all growed up.
January 9th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I had a similiar relationship with one of the doctors from my practice. It’s a big group practice, but there was that one doctor that I really preferred. He was the only one that I thought actually knew my name and really listened to me. The others just read charts, I thought. Anyway, when it came time to evict the kid, my LEAST favorite doctor ended up being the one on duty. I’m still ticked about it; I would have liked to have “finished things” with the doctor that I thought actually cared.
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..Take a Little Ride on the Short Bus
January 9th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Congrats on the good exam. I know exactly how you feel. I changed doctors right before I got pregnant with Baby Bum and they were awesome. I too was sad when it was over. You really develop relationships.
The time really flies with #2. I found some pictures this morning of Lil’ Bum and her brother the day after he came home. He was so tiny next to her and she sat quietly beside him. Now he is pushing twenty pounds and completely covers her lap. They are no longer quiet, but play peek a boo and scream and giggle back at each other. The last six and a half months have changed our lives so much. They have been even more special than I imagined.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I felt the same way about my care team. I *LOVE* my doctor and I don’t even really get much chance to see him anymore because he’s the head of the practice and is so busy that when I need an appointment, he’s rarely available (it’s a family practice center so I can see anyone). And the nurse that I loved during my first pregnancy was pregnant herself by the time my second came around, so I didn’t get to see her at all, and haven’t seen her since sometime in 2003.
Our practice center is great and I like everyone so far, but man I miss my original doctor and nurse team.
sherry’s last blog post..Helping girls hate everything about their bodies earlier every year
January 11th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
It is sad! I think my transition took at least 5 years to just now accept - and even now, I occasionally feel the “pang” of ‘not ever again’. (And yes, that process actually started before the last was born - weirdness).
I will say that as you move from the child bearing mommy into child rearing, you get to a stage where it’s exciting and freeing. Like I said I still get “baby pangs”, but I absolutely ADORE being the mom of three boys who communicate and are their own little guys who have a whole different set of needs, wants and desires.
Parenting is exciting every step (I know you feel the same way) but I do wish the transitioning was a bit easier (at least on the mom emotional front - everyone else seems unphased LOL)
Nikki Jo’s last blog post..Love Love Love is in the Air!
January 11th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Nikki Jo; Thanks for sharing that little bit. I know eventually I’ll transition and it will all feel “normal.” But knowing that these thoughts are normal, as so many others have shared, is comforting. Not completely, of course, but I don’t feel as alone.