Subscribe to Our Feed!I had every intention to talk about weight loss today but I’m postponing that until next week. Why? Two reasons. 1) I think I’m about to finally break past this plateau of weight and 2) This is more important. What’s more important? Breastfeeding, Failure to Thrive, LittleBrother and some ranting, raving and a bit of tooting my own darn horn.
Remember my big rant about people referring to LittleBrother as tiny? Let me tell you, that was a good post. I got so many comments and e-mails and instant messages telling me that, no, LittleBrother is not tiny. But you know what? When someone plants a seed of doubt, man, that thing just takes hold and sprouts a huge tree with roots in places like your heart and mind and soul. And so. I broke down.
I stepped on the scale with LittleBrother. And my heart sank.
The scale, non-digital and not new, didn’t read any different than the doctor’s office scale for his four month appointment. And this was just days before he turned six months old. Panic set in. But I put it off for a day or two, asking some trusted nursing mothers their opinions on whether or not to trust my old scale. I did well ignoring my fears until our Wii Fit arrived. One day after I weighed myself, I picked him up and reweighed us together. After he finally stopped squirming around and the balance board stopped yelling at us to hold still, my fears were reaffirmed. No difference.
And so on the Saturday morning that he turned six months old, I took LittleBrother to the hospital for a weight check with the lactation consultant. I fed him all night the night before as he started his six month growth spurt. I put him on the scale. And it read exactly one pound higher than two months prior. From four to six months, babies should gain at least four ounces per week (two pounds per month). And LittleBrother only gained two ounces per week.
My mind started spinning as things like Failure to Thrive were mentioned and I was told to call my doctor on Tuesday morning to schedule an appointment. I started doubting everything I had done over the past two months. Wasn’t I eating enough fat in general? I mean, yes, I like salads, but I also like pizza. Should I be eating more fat? Would healthy fats help? Like avocado? And nuts? Should I add Fish Oil to my diet?
FireDad shrugged the whole Failure to Thrive off, reminding me that the kid had been rolling with consistency since he was two months old. He’s a mover and shaker. FireDad also mentioned his own metabolism. (In case you haven’t noticed, FireDad isn’t rotund.) But I was in panic mode. No amount of “he’s fine” was going to suffice.
As we had just started solids (more on that next week!), I mashed up some avocado and fed it to him. I ate a bunch of avocado. And some pizza rolls. (What? You don’t eat when you’re stressed?) And I nursed the heck out of the kid. And finally his appointment arrived. He weighed in three ounces heavier than he was five days earlier. I mentally knew this to be a good thing but I wanted the lactation consultant’s scale to be wrong. I wanted him to be two pounds heavier.
As I sat and waited our Pediatrician, Dr. S, to enter the room, I felt like I could vomit. I didn’t want to be told that something was wrong with my baby. I didn’t want to be told that I should supplement with formula. I wanted everything to be fine. I wanted to provide for my child. I wanted him to be healthy. And I wanted everyone to STOP CALLING HIM TINY.
Dr. S came in, asked a few questions, looked over LittleBrother and said, “He’s fine.” I breathed for the first time in five days. He gave us some possible reasoning. Perhaps he was moving and shaking it off. Perhaps he did have his Dad’s metabolism. Perhaps he was just a smaller (not tiny!) dude. And all of that was okay. No mention of formula. Instead, we were told to continue on as we had been doing and just add solids as we had been planning. No rush on food. No set schedule. Just go about our parenting business.
And while I’m relieved, I’m writing this to tell you: trust your gut. If you feel that your child is just fine, he probably is. If he’s hitting appropriate milestones and happy and doesn’t seem to be freaking-out-hungry after you finish a feeding, trust that your body is providing all the right stuff for your child. It’s so easy to freak out and feel like your body is “failing” your child, especially when someone mentions “Failure” to Thrive. But, chances are, you’re doing just fine. And your child is doing just fine. And everything will be just fine.
I mean, honestly, does this kid look like he’s failing to thrive?
I think not.
17 Responses to “My Vocabulary Doesn’t Include the Word Failure”
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What? They didn’t tell you about the stringbean curve? My guy has gone from 90th to 25th and gains at about that rate now. My husband was always a skinny kid. It’s hard to trust, though, when you look to the numbers. So glad the doc was able to allay your fears. That is one darn cute food smeared face!
He looks adorable, actually!
I’m glad you got reasurance. and NO, he does not look like he is suffering anything! he’s adorable!!!
You’re a great mom who’s doing a fabulous job! Keep it up.
Wow – not only does he look like he’s thriving, he has got some gorgeous eyelashes!
But seriously, could people quit telling me how small my children are?
Like I don’t already know?
Every time someone mentions it, my gut gets all tied up in knots, despite what I *know* to be true. And our pediatricians were SO good with Wyn’s small size that I’m not really worried about them pushing us with Nara, but still…I’m nervous about her 4 month check. Ughhhh. My children are perfect. Leave them alone!
/rant
call_me_ps: Yes. I get what you’re saying. Totally. With BB it was always, “Too big! Too chubby!” With LB it’s always, “Too tiny! Eat more!” Dear World: My kids are fine. Hush.
*hugs to you* Nara is fine. Remember the rolling and rolling and rolling.
I’m glad your Ped. confirmed what your heart already knew, sweetie. It is hard not to panic when Medical People throw Big Scary Diagnoses at us, though. So don’t feel bad.
LB has always looked like he’s thriving like mad to me. He’s a beautiful kid, just like all your others!
Hugs!
Tooooo cute! And looks perfect, to me! I’m glad that you feel more validated after talking w/ the doc. I want to go w/ my gut most of the time, but man – it’s hard when those doubts start to creep in!
Try to relax, and enjoy your food! May I suggest some Haagen-Dazs to celebrate?
I always trust your gut! You know better then anybody. My youngest went from being at the top of her percentile to the bottom 10%. All kids gain weight differently. My oldest lost weight at first, then gained slowly & then lost some then gained some. She ate fine, so I wasn’t worried.
I have a similar trouble, but with a much older child. She’s almost 11 and today weighed in at 58 pounds. When she had her checkup, she was in the 1st% for weight and her BMI was 10. I was instructed to give her higher fat foods and add cream, butter and corn oil to her diet, in order to put on weight.
It’s funny – the other five kids were breastfed solely and no weight trouble. She was breastfed solely and is so thin that if she turns sideways, we can’t find her.
Hugs. I know it’s hard.
Mine are the same way…one tall and SKINNY and one SHORT and well, round. Hehehe. LB is gorgeous! I am so happy you trusted your instincts. It helps on the flip, too, when you KNOW something is wrong and everyone says, “he’s fine, stop freaking.” No, he’s not fine, kwim? Ugh. Sometimes I want to go live in a cave with my kids!!
LB is tall and thin, as I recall from earlier posts. Tall and thin = bad thing? I had one like that, similar weight thing. No baby fat. Ever. Spiked every food from 6 mos. on with olive oil and butter. Growth split on charts: tall at one end, weight at other end didn’t budge, no matter what I fed him. Dr.’s first suggestion was BF inadequate. I found a doc who said tall and thin was OK. BTW, if all other milestones are being hit, not to worry. Mine’s 10 now and perfecto. Did have to forcibly take his favorite size 5 Gap swim trunks from him. Insists that they still fit.
Angelica was a “tiny” baby. At birth, she was 7lbs. 12 oz. and 21 inches long, where her older sister had been a butterball at 8lbs. 12 oz. and 20 inches long. Angelica was exclusively nursed, but we discovered at 3 months that she was allergic to cow’s milk in my diet. Once we resolved that issue, she gained a little weight. However, she remained “tiny” particularly in comparison to her older sister at the same age. The family pressured me to about her weight constantly. Fortunately, my husband was a doctor; he wasn’t worried, and neither was the pediatrician. Fortunately, I was stubborn and willing to trust my gut instincts because it got worse. Angelica would not take solids. I think this stemmed from some innate knowledge she had that she was allergic to some foods. In fact, she didn’t really take solids well until she was over a year old. I remember going to have her hemoglobin tested (It was fine.).
Angelica will be 26 years old next month. She’s 5′7″ and works out regularly to keep her weight DOWN. She’s a brilliant girl who will earn her master’s degree and National Board Certification next year. She hasn’t eaten beef since she was ten and has never been able to drink cow’s milk. A few years ago, she was treated by a gastroenterologist for food allergies and stomach problems. Imagine if I hadn’t trusted my gut with her and had forced all manner of stuff down her when she was a baby in response to pressure from all around me.
I think you are doing all the right things. You are looking at the genetics (your husband’s physique and metabolic rate), Parker’s level of activity and probably the number of wet and poopy diapers he produces a day. In all the photo’s you publish, he has bright eyes and seems very healthy. You go girl.
PS I never supplemented N, A or M with formula.
You’re a Mom, and no one but NO ONE knows your baby better than you do. You love your son, you are doing all the right things, and you have figured out the most important thing for yourself: trust your gut. You, and your Not Tiny Guy are going to be just fine!
When my oldest son had pneumonia, the doctor scoffed, but I knew he was really and i took him to the hospital. Literally saved his life. When my youngest son’s clavicle was broken, I knew it was serious. Sometimes, I do worry too much (my littlest hurt his hand and it all came out okay but I thought it was more serious than it was), but I have never let my kids come to harm, and neither will you. Believe in this, trust yourself, and get a little thicker skin to deal with the all the turkeys trying to get you down!
I love your blog, btw! Blogrolled you over at http://coolmomsrule.blogspot.com