Another Fun Installment of I'm Sorry You Found This Place!

It’s been awhile since I’ve perused what random searchers used to find this blog. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. Do tattoos stop you from being a paramedic? Well, let me look at FireDad’s back and chest. The easy answer would be, “Nope! He’s got three and is a Paramedic.” The complicated answer would be, “But his three are all covered by a shirt. And he doesn’t often go to work shirtless. At least, I don’t think he goes to work shirtless…” A quick search of FireHouse.com found an archived discussion on the topic. The final answer: it’s hit or miss. If you’re already a Paramedic working for a company, ask them before you tattoo “KISS THIS” across your knuckles.

2. Mint chocolate zoo. (Other variations included “mint chocolate zoo knit” and “mint chocloate zoo tee.”) Ah, so you’re a Goodmama fan, too? Yes, I do own the print. Yes, we love it (though not as much as electrolyte). I’ve never actually found the fabric itself to purchase. The Goodmama herself did sell some GoodTreats on Hyenacart with MCZ included. However, I didn’t get that one so I don’t have it available to trade. That said, keep an eye on Spots’ Corner on Hyenacart as I recently saw a T-shirt/Wool combo with the MCZ print! Coming soon: Goodmama stalking tips. (Pfft. This coming from a woman who hasn’t even seen the new prints stock in the past two weeks. I think I’ve lost my mojo.)

3. Angry loud mom at kids ball parks. Of course, I’m sure you happened in because of this rant about a recent experience at PNC Park. (Which, I forgot to mention, scored us four free tickets to a game of our choosing!) As for angry loud moms at a kids’ ball game… well… I haven’t quite reached that stage of parenting yet. I do hope not to be the angry loud mom at my kids’ hypothetical ball games. Any moms of ball players wanna field this one? Because all I can come up with is: don’t hit her with a bat. Assault and battery charges aren’t worth it!

4. How can you tell if you’re allergic to cinnamon? Oh, you poor, poor searching individual. I’m sure you landed here either because your tongue swelled so big that your teeth left imprints. Or, even worse, your child’s tongue swelled in a similar fashion. That was our first clue that I had a cinnamon allergy: my tongue was swelling. And it hurt. And my teeth were leaving indentations because my tongue no longer fit in my tongue parking spot. If your breathing becomes labored, as it might if you have a true allergy, dial 911 immediately or get to the emergency room as quickly as possible. Consider downing a Benadryl if you know where it is as you’re on the way out the door. For future reference, cinnamon is in a lot of random things: tons and tons of breakfast foods, most every dessert ever (especially things containing apple and a lot of graham cracker crusts), Skyline chili (and other brands/non-brands), lots of cookies, Zwieback toast (a recent whoops of mine), barbeque sauces, the apple flavor of YoBaby yogurt (on the bottom) and other random foods. A tip, if I may: if it simply says “spices,” avoid it like the plague. You’ll thank me later. (For more on cinnamon allergies, read this blogger’s account of her tongue swelling and this page about some other symptoms.)

5. How to keep stray cats from bothering my outdoor cat. Simple. TAKE YOUR FLIPPING CAT INSIDE. Because? If your “outdoor cat” poops in my mulch ONE MORE TIME, oh, I promise… PROMISE!… I am going to catch that little bugger and take him straight to the Humane Society. He’s a pet! Take him inside! Problem solved!

And those are the top five recent searches that made me laugh out loud. Okay. Except for that last one. I wasn’t laughing. I was kind of riled up, no? Okay, and the cinnamon one just made me kind of sad because I miss things with cinnamon. And, really, the Mint Chocolate Zoo one made me kind of bummed as I haven’t been able to score one of the new prints yet. (Hi? Woodland Splendor? Or Cocoa Nouveau? And don’t you think LittleBrother could rock Charm School? Pink and green together are masculine, right?) So, really, I didn’t laugh at all of these searchers.

Come back tomorrow where I discuss something else that’s been bringing Googlers in: Wii Fit. We’ve had it just shy of a month and I would say that’s a fine amount of time to give you a good and thorough opinion. And a complaint or two. Complete with pictures. Dig it.