We’re at two days out from BigBrother’s first preschool experience. This Thursday is just a short orientation but we’ve been counting it as his first day just because it’s at school and therefore, to him, it is school. He’s pretty excited. We’re all kind of excited.
But, yes, I’m nervous. He’s so… little!
BigBrother will not be three until mid-November. I’ve received e-mails from friends and readers regarding our decision. Not chastising it. Real, honest to goodness questions about what lead us to the decision to start him in preschool a “year” early. An article in the September issue of Cookie really hit on the point these other mothers were stuck on:
Remind me to write a letter to the authors of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I want to ask them to add another chapter — specifically one that addresses women who conceived between October and March.
And she goes on to talk about the “crippling anxiety” over the decision of whether or not to start her son in kindergarten early as he was born in late August. Obviously, we’re still a ways off from the kindergarten decision (which I’ll talk about briefly at the end) but that doesn’t mean we’re free and clear from similar, anxiety-inducing decisions. While his performance in preschool won’t dictate his acceptance to any big name universities, no Mom sends her kid off to school and wishes for them to fail or to have a miserable time. And so, despite the fact that he will still be two for just about three months while attending preschool, we’ve decided to go with it.
Our decision making process started last spring. We had read some tips on preschool readiness. BigBrother was mostly potty trained by early May. I also knew that he really enjoyed learning as he already knew his shapes, colors, uppercase and lowercase letters and numbers. What he was lacking, however, was that social interaction that other kids get or seem to possess in ways that both BigBrother and I don’t just magically “possess.” He was getting some minor interaction once a week in church but even that was quickly over and forgotten by the time we made lunch at home on Sunday afternoons. I knew he needed more. I couldn’t just wave my wand and provide children from him to play with and learn how to share with and so, I called our school of choice.
Why was it our school of choice? As FireDad has traveled around to all of the local preschools dressed as Fire Pup (yes, I’m serious!), we knew that our school of choice was a clean and safe option. Friends of ours also sent their daughter there and had nothing but rave reviews. But I didn’t know. Would they take him? Would we like them? Would I really have to talk on the phone? (Something I usually avoid at all costs!)
But I called. They answered. And we set up a visitation for BigBrother to ask our questions and let him interact. While he played miraculously well with the other children, we asked our questions of the teacher. We asked about how they teach. We asked about the proximity of the bathroom to the classroom. (Answer: close!) We asked about discipline (time out chair) and informed the teachers he’d be there more than once in his preschool career.
Then we asked the big one: how do children, boys specifically, who start preschool before age three usually fare in their classroom? They pointed out another boy who was playing quietly with some cars. He was just about the same age as BigBrother when he had started that previous fall. He came in knowing the same stuff that BigBrother did… and he has done just fine. That sealed the deal. We signed him up.
But my nerves began to set in as spring turned to summer. Would he be able to handle taking direction? Would he listen? Would he share? Would he be a holy terror? Then we went off to camp. I decided to take him to the preschool class the first day. My mistake? I stayed. He wouldn’t sing any songs. He sat with his arms crossed. Halfway through class, he came and sat on my lap. He asked to leave. My second mistake is that I let us leave. I began to fear he wouldn’t make it in preschool. Three days later, my Mom took him up to class. AND SHE CAME RIGHT BACK. WITHOUT HIM. After class, we fetched him and he excitedly showed us his art project, talking animatedly about the songs that they sang. By the end of the week, he was always the last to leave the classroom because he didn’t want to leave. At the program to show the parents the songs they learned, he sang quietly and only did a few hand motions but, OH MY GOSH, he DID some hand motions! The teacher then told me, “He’ll be fine in preschool.”
I breathed a little bit.
To answer the next question: We don’t plan on starting him in Kindergarten while still four. We believe he needs that year of maturing before going into an actual classroom. That’s not set in stone. He may surprise the heck out of all of us. But, as it stands, he will go to preschool for three years.
Our decision is our own. We hope that it will work for him. It was based on the fact that he potty trained rather easily, shows such an interest in learning and reading and desperately needs social skills. It was helped along by teachers who show a real interest in children and have a proven record with those that they have taught. And it was finalized by a summer “classroom” experience that he ended up loving. We can only hope that this next experience will be as awesome for him.
And us.
12 Responses to “The Decision to Start Preschool Early”
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I can understand why you’re nervous! That’s a big step for you both. It sounds like he’ll do well though. It’s obvious you really thought it through and made the best decision for all of you. Plus, preschool is fun!
Good luck on Thursday – can’t wait to hear how it goes.
Chrissys last blog post..Leaving the Curtains Open
i think that’s great! my son has been in a preschool/daycare setting full time since he was 10 weeks old, he’s 3.5 now. I still see what you see, i get there he either clams up or some days does not want to leave. we still have our good days and bad days… it’s odd to think he will be “in school” forever, but that may be the case.
He was born in march, i am not thinking about Kindergarten, will he be able to go in when he is 4.5? will he wait until 5 ? it’s a year away, so we will have to wait and see.
another feeling i have is that he is so well adjusted, he loves people and being adventurous. His schooling has given him so much more in his daily life than i could ever offer him – creatively and socially.
Congrats and Good Luck !
Love your blog !!
Melanies last blog post..Kid Rooms – Updated !
We went through the same thing with Kindergarten. Liam is a July baby, so technically could have started Kindy last year when he was 5 years, 2 months old. But he just wasn’t ready. Academically he was fine… he could do it all and then some. But emotionally and social he needed another year of pre-school, 1-8 teacher ratio etc. so he will be starting Kindy next week at the wise age of 6. We were worried about him being the oldest or watching his peers move ahead of him, but we don’t need to worry. 4 other kids from his preschool (which is in his “big” school) are all 6 and moving on to Kindy with him.
You know your kids best, so trust yourself to make the best choices for each of them.
And good luck on Thursday!
Andys last blog post..Cooking is SOOO not my thing!
We’re doing it with our younger son as well…he is very late December. He will only be 2 this year, but the plan is in place….3years of nursery/pre-school before entering kindergarten. Our older son is the opposite end of the spectrum..he is a Jan babe so we did a “mommy & me”, then a 3′s program and now he will be in the 4′s. So by kindergarten, he will be 5yrs, 9mos old.
Good luck! He will be great!!!!! (expect great big Mommy tears when he waves goodbye!!!!! {{{Hugs}}} )
BigBrother and Widget have the same birthday issue (both November just a year apart). Since Widget wasn’t potty trained at ALL before 3, we had to wait for preschool until this year and in fact, I almost didn’t send her this fall though she is very ready.
We will be doing two years of preschool or one year of preschool/one year of “young fives” before we send her to kindergarten.
Good luck with the first day. I got all teary-eyed just taking her to the open house! I can’t imagine the first day!
Erins last blog post..Camp-a-ree
I hope BB enjoys it! We have orientation for Donovan tonight. :c)
I have to say though, reading through the comments I’m surprised so many people choose to send their kids early. I know you guys have thought through your decision and I’m not questioning it! I’m just very surprised that so many people think having a fall birthday is an “issue”. Both my kids have fall birthdays and are the older kids, and so far we’ve always experienced it as an advantage.
I agree that when to start school is a personal decision. My son turned five in July and we have decided not to send him to kindergarten this year. He is doing his third year of preschool. Our preschool offers a pre-K plus class for kids who make the cut-off but parents decided not to send them. The cut-off in our school district is August 1. Surrounding school districts have a September 30 cut-off and word is out that they would like to change the date to June 1. I didn’t know that schools had cut-off dates after September 30. My other kids have birthdays after the cutoff, so I won’t have to make the decision again! Whew! Good luck with preschool!
My sister also had to deal with the same decisions as you. My nephew was born on Nov 12th. He started preschool early but she decided to keep him there until next year. (He’ll be 5 this year.) While very smart and ready for the academics…he’s still young and that comes out socially a lot. And once they get to 4th/5th grade, I’ve seen that emotional difference stand out a lot more!
Good Luck to you guys!!
Chrystals last blog post..And so another year begins…
I live in Texas and recently have discovered that at least in my city we start kids in school a lot earlier than the rest of the US. Only we call it Mother’s Day Out. We started Katherine in MDO at 11 months. She went once a week for 5 hours. At at hat age it was just play time for the entire time. It was a chance for me to have a break – run errands, clean house, have lunch with a friend. Last year she went twice a week, 5 hours each day. She started the school year at 18 months. There was a little teaching time, but mainly playtime. There was a daily routins and she learned to follow directions, etc. This year at 2.5 she will have more academic time. I think it is great. We call it school but technically it is not “preschool” until next year.
Christy@pipandsqueaks last blog post..30 months
Jeremy and I both started K when we were 4 and with Kaylin’s birthday being 3 weeks after the cut off it was a big struggle with what we wanted to do with her. Obviously, we ended up waiting, and she’s now the oldest one in her class, but I think it was the right choice even though I do think she was ready last year…I really enjoyed having that extra year with her – because I’ll never get that back.
All that said – check out my latest blog entry. I tagged you for a quirks meme. http://kellyandjeremy.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-quirks.html
Kellys last blog post..My Quirks
Couldn’t agree more with your thoughts, Jenna. As my mother in law, who is a retired teacher said, kids don’t get in trouble in school for being too mature, only immature. I think it’s a good idea to have some age on their side.
Hi Jenna – Just though I’d give my 2 cents on this topic. But out where I live (Ontario – Canada) we have 2 kindergaden classes JK (Junior Kindergaden for children who are 4 by December 31st) and SK (Senior Kindergarden for children who are 5 by December 31st).
My son also has a late birthday like your boys (the end of November). So we sent him to JK when he was 3 years old (b/c where we live and registration for the year before is in November – I actually took my 2 year old to reg. for school) Anyways… he was the youngest child in his class. I never realized it until now (he is going into SK this year) but it really does affect the child when they start school that early. I even asked the teacher if there is a difference b/w the child who start when they are 3 compared to those who do not. And she sees a huge difference and actually beleieves that for the most part (as of course there are exceptions) 3 year old should not be starting school. I have talked to a few mothers who all share the same thoughts. Now my other sons will be 4 when they start JK and I think that is better. If I have a another child that is born in Sept-December I will do the same thing and put them in Preschool. My twins are 3 and I have them in preschool twice a week. I think that will help them out more, I wish I knew about that for my son.
Also – another thing I disagree with, is that he goes to JK (and SK) 2-3 times a week for the WHOLE day. Way too much for a three-Five year old. My son will be 5 in November and he still naps every day. On schools days he is totally off! If they go, it should be 2-3 times a week for half a day!
I really hope MY(against my husbands judgement) (niave) choice won’t affect him in the long wrong. That he won’t be picked on so much for being immature (b/c he is immature compared to his other classmates). B/c I am in the country and the way the school works he is actualy in an JK and SK split. Which is WAY WRONG! My three year started JK with not only kids that were there already a year, but they were 5 (almost 6) year old kids in his class. And my goodness, there is a HUGE difference in kids that age.
Wow – I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to be a rant.