Subscribe to Our Feed!BigBrother’s preschool open house was last week. He wasn’t all that interested in showing us his artwork because his friends were there and playing was far more important than what his Mommy and Daddy thought about pumpkins, cats, owls and scarecrow. All the same, FireDad and I made our way around the classroom, checking out his handiwork.
When we found his pumpkin, we were delighted. No. It’s not the most symmetrical pumpkin. No, it’s not even painted all orange. It’s not going to win awards. But our son made it. Himself. And we’re proud. One of his teachers comes over, noticing us looking at his pumpkin and says:
“He’s not very crafty.”
She says this with a smile. My Mama Bear instinct was to punch her in the mouth. Obviously, I did no such thing as you didn’t hear about a brawl at a preschool open house on the national news. But, seriously? Why would you need to say that to a parent? I’m aware that he’s not the most crafty kid on the block. But did you need to point it out while we were delighting over his pumpkin?
Of course, once I smiled back at her, the Mommy Guilt set in. Have I failed my son(s) in this area? Should I really be working harder to instill craftiness? We color. Not inside the lines yet but he’s at least acknowledging that lines exist. We make things from time to time. No model cars yet but we’ve worked with glue and scissors. Should I be doing more? Or is it solely to blame on my faulty genetics? I don’t particularly enjoy crafty things. I don’t know that I even possess a truly crafty bone in my body. I have an eye for things but mostly only for knowing what looks good to buy, not knowing how to create it. Is BigBrother doomed to asymmetrical pumpkin making forever because his Mom can’t figure out how to draw a stick figure?
Then again, BigBrother is a mover and a shaker. I can convince him to sit down and color with me or to make a craft once in awhile. But only once in awhile. And ever so quickly. And then he has to race off to return to whatever he was moving or shaking when I interrupted him in the first place. Do I see this as hyperactivity? No. I see this as an energetic kid who has a really awesome imagination and plays amazingly by himself. I’m not going to argue with those things as even the energetic part is good when it comes to wearing himself down for bedtime.
So, no. My oldest son is never going to create the next Mona Lisa. Maybe, instead, he’ll be a great abstract artist. I mean, the cat with one ear on his face and the other on his head like a unicorn horn? That’s great stuff, isn’t it? All the same, maybe he has inherited my love for words. He does love to read. He will stop moving and shaking if you offer to read to him. And he now tells you the story and recites many by memory. Perhaps, then, he will be a fine crafter of words and win the world with his attention to detail and ability to connect with each and every reader on a different level.
Or perhaps he’ll just be himself.
Whatever he does, I will think it’s the best darn thing ever done.
14 Responses to “It’s Probably My Fault He Isn’t Crafty”
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Kids that age should be presented with the craft by a teacher and then allowed to do their own interpretation of the craft. I loathe art projects that were obviously done by a teacher.
I recall a Halloween craft that both my children did at two different preschools. The craft was a skeleton on a piece of black construction paper. One child, let’s call her “noncrafty”, had a perfecly executed skeleton comprised of symmetrically placed Q-tips glued to the black paper to resemble bones, ribs, etc. The other child, let’s call her “Crafty McCraftpants”, had a few Q-tips haphazardly glued to the paper. Her project did not look like a skeleton at all. I loved both crafts, but secretly preferred the freeform craft to the “teacher holding the child’s hand to guide them to do the project the correct way” one.
The nerve to say such a thing! Avery will be like BigBrother because Keri and I could care less about crafting (you should see the torture Keri puts herself through to keep a scrapbook going). Kids can’t be great at everything. Perhaps BigBrother will be out on the soccer field while LittleBrother will be playing piano – you’ll never know til it happens
The nerve! I would have mouthed off at the least, but that’s just me. Not crafty? This isn’t scrapbooking school, yk? I love that all my girls’ stuff is mostly precut shapes that they get to scribble on or glue stuff to. My 4.5 yo only recently started coloring in the lines.
Seemingly unrelated and tangential, but re: food issue/textures and fine motor stuff…for C there is a connection. Do you have an easel, coloring up on a surface like that where they have to use more effort to sustain the activity (rather than slouching over a table) is good.
This just makes me pissy—teachers are the ones who are supposed to have all the ideas for encouraging the kids at their weaker areas and delighting in everything they do.
Those other examples are way above age level in complexity. Seriously, kids at his age are barely supposed to be able to draw a person w/ a few parts let alone make a representation of other animals, etc.
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Is it possible she just meant that craft time isn’t his favorite activity? Like, that he’d rather play blocks or run around than do the craft activity? Because his pumpkin is perfectly fine for his age.
If she was really just critiquing his output, then she’s an asshat.
ugh, I would like to punch that teacher in the face, too! why did she feel the need to say that, even if it wasn’t meant to be snarky? All kids interpret art differently … it makes no difference how much cutting/pasting you do at home or don’t do – they are going to see things through THEIR OWN EYES. That’s the beauty of crafts! (and the beauty of children.)
coloring in lines and putting faces “correctly” on a pumpkin are overrated. I think his pumpkin is perfect and that you are doing an amazing job as his mama.
Umm… okay. That’s the same type of end product that comes out of every single kid at my twins’ school (three and four year olds). So… I guess there’s a few dozen children all together who aren’t “very crafty”?
The fact that that woman is teaching actually concerns me. It shows a distinct need she has to direct a child every step of the way instead of letting said child learn through play by themselves.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with his artwork. A lot of kids this age, you can’t even RECOGNIZE what something is supposed to be, and I’m not having any trouble at all with his pieces.
Hopefully like someone else said, she just meant that craft time isn’t is favorite part of school, but from the way you put it it doesn’t sound like it. If she was truly criticizing his perfectly developmentally-appropriate artwork then that’s just ridiculous. If it were me, if I saw more evidence of unrealistic expectations, criticism of students, or lack of respect for a child’s natural development coming from the teacher – I’d honestly find myself another preschool.
I agree with many of the comments about the teacher, but it’s obvious you’re also doing a great job. This whole post and your reaction speaks to what a great mom you are. (So you shouldn’t worry so much about the mommy guilt or not punching her (deservedly) in the mouth!)
I hate to say it – RUN! You need to say something or see if there’s anyone else that can be his teacher (not sure if there’s other classrooms at the school). I was much older than Nick (5th grade) and the teacher held up my art work to show off a bad example to the entire class. AND SAID IT WAS MINE! I hate to place blame on one person, but since that day I hate to draw anything and what I once use to enjoy now just makes me feel like that small 5th grader again who felt small and belittled inside.
So, don’t let that teacher have an impact on you or most importantly, Nick. He does a wonderful job and I love the pumpkin. I’d like to see the teacher’s pumpkin creation from when she was 3 
I would not sweat it. Kids are diverse and some are good at one thing while others are good at other things. My kid is a total artist but her handwriting leaves a lot to be said. We are working on it but it is not the end of the world if she isn’t perfect at everything. I suck at math but I am good at cooking. You take the good with the bad and find a happy balance.
Good on ya for not punching her. I however do not have that restraint if I lived closer would do it for you. I second (third…fourth…some number) the above his artwork is absolutely adorable and that teacher is a meanie head.
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She probably just meant it was not his favorite activity to sit and do at school. And if he gets to do those things some at home, it’s not such a novelty at school like some of their other activities might be….
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