We are members of our local YMCA. In the early fall, we received information about the fall and winter offerings for adults and kids alike. When I saw the info about kids, I initially skipped it thinking that it wouldn’t apply to our family. When I went back, I saw that BigBrother, who turned three in November, would be old enough for a few things come this new year. After some discussion with FireDad, we went ahead and registered him for the Youth Basketball program.
BigBrother fell into the “Itty Bitty” age group of three to five years old. As he had never experienced anything like this (structured game type setting), we began talking about it pretty early on. For Christmas, my parents got him a Little Tikes basketball hoop that we put up in the playroom (and that will move outside once this winter ick passes). The week leading up to his first practice, we talked it up and really drove home how fun it is to play a baksetball game with other kids.
The problem wasn’t with his excitement level. The problem was with the two weeks of practice (two 45 minute sessions on a Saturday). All 50 kids in his age group were in the gym at the same time. At the beginning, they all sat in a circle and stood to stretch. That was met with tears the first week. When they split them in half (which was still 25 kids!) for passing and shooting instruction, he was still overwhelmed that first week. In fact, the second week, while better, was still overwhelming for him.
We were beginning to doubt that he was ready for something of this structure. He loved his new basketball shoes and his water bottle. And he always ended the day with a smile on his face. But he just seemed overwhelmed. Still, we thought that maybe the difference of having only a team’s worth of kids at one time would make the difference and, so, on Saturday, we left the house for his first game. He seemed unsure but came along without tears.
He stood around for a bit, looking at the other kids. I helped him remember how to dribble. He passed with another child for awhile. A five year old girl came up to me and said, “Does he know how to play basketball” with a mouthful of attitude. I said, “Well, he’s only three,” with a smile on my face. She then informed us that she was the biggest and the “bestest” on the team. I just smiled and went back to helping BigBrother with his dribbling. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed!
Then the whistle blew.
They originally were going to put him on the court first but decided he could sit and watch for a few rotations first. (There were eight kids so three got to sit at any given time.) When it was finally his time, he shocked everyone and got right into it. The two times that he actually had the ball, he wasn’t really sure what to do but he was encouraged by his coaches to pass or shoot. They gave him time instead of stripping it away and giving it to one of the more learned kids. In fact, for the whole game, the coaches were very encouraging to all of the children (even their own). The coach on the bench was always sure to tell the kids that they did a great job. And afterward, the kids slapped high fives.
And BigBrother afterward? Was so excited that he could barely contain himself. He asked me today if he could play another basketball game. He can’t wait until his next game (which I don’t have the heart to tell him won’t be this coming weekend because of a gymnastics meet in the gym). FireDad and I are very relieved. If the game had ended in total failure and/or tears, we likely wouldn’t have continued on with the season. But seeing how happy he was and knowing that he got some great exercise and learning done in the process, we are pleased with how this has gone.
While I’m sure non-YMCA programs are just as good, I have a feeling that this one is just right for BigBrother. It’s more about learning about teamwork and fun than the act of winning. One little boy, who mouthed off to the five-year-old-girl earlier, mentioned something about being a loser and was told that no one who tries is a loser. And that’s a good lesson to learn. We’ve also learned as parents to go at an experience like this with an attitude of fun, acknowledge their fears and to allow them some space to watch and make their own decision.
I mean, come on. Look at this face (taken immediately after the game).
Yes, I think that we made the right decision.
8 Responses to “Our First Experience with Sports”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
I enjoyed this blog immensely – brings back great memories. I have 2 sons and a daughter – all three have played sports. The oldest, now 25, played baseball through his soph yr in college (NAIA, DIII), the second, now 22, played soccer through all 4 yrs of college (NAIS, DII), and the youngest, my daughter, is now playing soccer for a state top-10 level club team.
It sounds like you’re learning the right approach as parents – find a program that focuses on their development and de-emphasizes winning (at least until they get to an older age and level of skill); find coaches that embody that philosophy (focus on winning at too early an age at the expense of development can be devasting to self esteem and ultimately their continued interest in playing). Celebrate their successes. Help them to cope with their failures and help them to understand that making a mistake and/or screwing something up is really a good thing, because it gives them something to focus on learning from and can accelerate their development. Avoid other parents who go ballistic when their kid makes a mistake, doesn’t get playing time or they disagree with a coaching decision.
At the end of the day, it’s a game, and the minute-by-minute, game-by-game mean absolutely nothing in the bigger scheme of things. If your child becomes passionate with a particular sport, nurture it, but at the same time, help them to maintain balance with other parts of their daily lives. If they don’t, allow them to explore and learn. They will gravitate if they’re interested, or not. Some kids have no desire to become an elite athlete, but simply love to play – that’s OK.
Thanks, Steve
[...] February 14, 2009 | Filed Under Project365 For more, read this post: Our First Experience with Sports. [...]
Twitter: firemom
says:
@Steve Mahaney: Thanks for your great comment! I played softball through my senior year of high school and also ran track. My husband played soccer, football, baseball and ran track and cross country. We, thankfully, had some great experiences but we also had some of those things that you warned about as well.
I was able to see, in just this first game experience, some of those children and some of those parents whose focus is on one thing: winning. But, uniquely, the kid who played the best on the other team is a family that I know doesn’t have any pressure of that nature. It’s his third year now, being that he’s five, so he has had that time to learn how to play. His father plays with him but there’s never been the OMG! WIN! NOW! pressure on that child. When I told him afterward that he did a great job, he said thanks and told my son he did well, too. THAT is what I want for my kid, you know?
Again, thanks for the tips. I hope we’re able to help our kids strike that balance that it seems yours were able to do in the coming years.
That’s awesome! It sounds like a lot of fun for the whole family. Sierra has been doing gymnastics since whe was 18 mos old and really enjoys it. This sring she’ll begin to play soccer, and maybe even blast ball. I can’t wait to go watch!
Mom On The Runs last blog post..Daddy Day Spa
I think sports are so great for kids. The Big Brother in my house plays hockey. This is his second season. Although, last season they did not play real games. They only learned skills. He LOVES it. He loved it last year but now that they play games it is so much better. We recently found out he would be moving to the next level in the fall. That is pretty exciting.
The thing is to me being a part of a team is truly amazing. Having that encouragement and that acceptance that being a part of a team gets you. He is learning to be proud of it when his teammate gets a goal. He is making friendships that he wouldn’t have. And the pride in himself as his skills have improved over the last two seasons is priceless. It is just such a wonderful thing.
Plus, in all seriousness it is such so much fun to watch your little guy go out these and play isn’t it?
Upstatemomof3s last blog post..While you were sleeping
I like your approach to sports. I have two girls who now play on travel volleyball teams. We just attended a huge tournament in D.C. — 4,000 teen volleyball players at the D.C. Convention Center!
I well remember those early years of T-ball, soccer, and basketball. I let my girls play the sports and decide if they wanted to continue or not. I also let them do Brownies, piano, gymnastics, and dance. It sounds like a lot, but we did not do everything every semester. Also, in the preschool and early elementary school years, homework is fairly low key. Now that my girls are 5th and 7th grades I am grateful that one does volleyball, swimming, and clarinet, and the other does volleyball and art.
My son is 5. He did a socer clinic in preschool, and now that he is in kindergarten he plays rec soccer and rec. basketball. It will be interesting to see what sport he gravitates to.
Congratulations!
[takes a second LONG look at BigBrother]
I agree, you made the right decision. Here’s to many, many more picture perfect moments…taken from the bleachers
Liz@thisfullhouses last blog post..Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Holy Fashion Statement
That face is a total FireMom face. I have seen that in many of your photos. OMGCHEESE! I love it.
We are enrolling Wynlet in indoor soccer at the YMCA starting in March. I am OMGEXCITED!!! She is OMGEXCITED!!!! Because big sissy Drama Queen plays soccer too.