Overwhelming Parenthood

I’m overwhelmed.

Sometimes the overwhelmed feeling comes from the never-ending pile of laundry. I mean, sure, if we didn’t cloth diaper, I might get two seconds without the thought of, “Oh, I really need to change loads.” But then I’d just end up having to run to the store at 7:30 in the evening (or, worse, morning) because I didn’t realize how many diapers we had left in the house. And, perhaps, if I let my children run naked, the clothing would not pile up so quickly. But BigBrother is in a stage where he doesn’t want to begin his day without being fully dressed. It was already warm this morning and I told him it would be fine to run around in just his underwear and a t-shirt. No go. So, there’s the laundry.

Sometimes the overwhelmed feeling comes from being the wife of a firefighter. In the past week and a half, FireDad’s department has been on three structure fires. All three of those fires were in the middle of the night. While that sounds like it would be better than a midday fire that took him away from whatever we were doing, middle of the night fires create a bigger problem. There’s the worry, of course. But then there’s also a tired FireDad. Trying to keep these two boys from climbing all over a FireDad who has all put passed out on the floor, let alone to be quiet, is an impossible task. This has made it hard to work at times. So, there’s the issue of fire.

Sometimes the overwhelmed feeling comes from these two children. T-ball is in full swing. We actually had two games this week due to a makeup of a previous game that was called off due to rain. And then we went to see Thomas the Train on stage. And then BigBrother is gearing up for the end of school so he has had extra stuff to do in that regard. And LittleBrother is cutting his bottom two eye teeth and isn’t sleeping well. In fact, BigBrother hasn’t been sleeping well either. And if we go outside, they want to be inside. When we’re inside, they want to be outside. And so, there’s the children.

And sometimes it’s everything else in my world. I don’t know if I like my new haircut. I have a cut on my big toe. I’m unmotivated in the kitchen despite having a new menu. It’s too darn hot for my liking. Currently, the neighbors are blaring their bass so loud that I can hear it clear on the other side of my house. My family, like FireDad’s, all want to spend time with the boys and, while that’s great, it’s hard to make time for everyone. Yo Gabba Gabba makes me twitch. Speaking of twitching, my eye has been twitching for about 36 hours now. Today, the electric company didn’t alert us that they were going to be working on the wires and proceeded to fry my laptop’s battery. As such, I’m stuck to the wall. I keep trying to get enough money to buy a new laptop, but things keep happening. So, there’s just about everything else.

And so on and so forth.

And at the same time, I am so overwhelmed with love. I can’t explain why other than the fact that I am keenly aware of how blessed I am… we are… to have everything that we have. I have seen a few of my friends endure horrible things in the past few months. I don’t have answers as to why they are dealing with such horrible things. The loss of a child. The loss of a boyfriend. Loss after loss after loss. And my biggest complaint is about the never-ending laundry? Or enduring the noisiness of my two kids? Or the worry that I knew I would endure when I married a firefighter?

Seems kind of silly.

In light of it all, two of our dear friends who have been trying to have a baby for quite some time announced their happy news today: they’re expecting. As the tears fell, happy ones, my deepest wish and biggest prayer is that they, too, will know the overwhelming experience (maybe minus fire life issues) that we have known. Diaper laundry, noise level and all.

We are sending our best wishes for a safe and uneventful pregnancy to Bethany and George. Congratulations!