On their birthday, they’ve always had their birthday supper – which both ALWAYS agree – lazanga. For the cake, somehow, they took it upon themselves to decide who picks the cake for that year. It fell into place that we just knew who’s year it was to pick the flavor.

I often wondered if the oldest felt slighted by having to share a birthday – but NEVER. They hold that bond very close.

Thanks for chiming in with all of your experience. We do have a few friends of theirs at each party but I haven’t had to invite ten for one and ten for another or some such nonsense just yet. Mainly they’re just the kids of my friends!

I think next year we’ll end up with separate cakes just because I think it will work better.

Since the third son turned 1 (and the middle child turned 3) we have had joint parties of which guest are 99 percent family. A few friends have been included over the years. The guests, I believe, are relieved they have to attend only one party (especially since it’s so close to Thanksgiving and OSU-Michigan weekend) and since they would give gifts to the two fellows regardless, they don’t seem to mind double the gifts.

I have secretly contemplated having ONE birthday gig for all three boys in October. The oldest boy who was born on 9/11 is 14 months older than the middle child. I would like to have the pre-Halloween party because it seems by the time we get to November someone is ill, like this year (ME) and we had to postpone the joint party a week until I recovered fully. Now if we had a party for all three boys it would strictly be all family guests – at every party there are between 20-25 people – but I worry about them having to buy for three at the same time. That is my ONLY reservation because food purchase/preparation and cleaning the house to ready for any party is a big drag for this working mom.

During the two youngest boys’ joint party they usually have their own cakes and their own decorations and plates. This year it was SpongeBob and Superman. I would prefer to have one theme but it’s THEIR birthday!

Now as the boys get older and want to have friends over I think we will have to have separate parties. Until then …

I think it just comes down to families and children and what works for you. And I liked how you commented at the end that just because you did it one way this year doesn’t mean you’re locked in forever – you can mix and match as much as you want. The people who matter will find a way to make it work, no matter what you choose.

Glad it went well!