My kids have always slept very well. The first three months of each of their lives are kind of a blurry haze. After that magic point, something clicked in their little heads and they began sleeping all night. Not only did they sleep all night, they napped. And they napped well. And they have continued napping well, save for a nap boycott in the two-year-old range (BigBrother).
Until now.
I’ve known that his nap time was coming to an end for awhile now. In fact, sometimes his naps would throw off his bedtime. You see, he sleeps twelve (plus) hours at night. According to Elizabeth Pantley, our preferred sleep book guide writer, that’s the amount of sleep he needs all day at age four. (See page five of the linked .pdf booklet.) It makes sense then that any napping would throw off bedtime. I like bedtime. But I also like naptime.
Parenting dilemma.
I have always used naptime as a catch all for what needs to be done but can’t always be done with two boys running around, driving tractors over my toes and asking to play Candy Land eighty-six times. I throw in a load of laundry, wash the morning dishes, take a shower and apparently use a lot of water in a two hour time span. I return phone calls because that’s an impossibility with the volume output of these two. I finish up any freelance articles that need finishing, do some editing and write a blog post or four. It’s what I’ve done and when I’ve done it for four years.
And now that’s changing.
I’m trying to figure it all out. I’m trying not to get frustrated. For awhile, FireDad and I thought we could get away with letting BigBrother “rest” in his room as some parents have blogged about regarding the transition out of naps. And, yes, he’ll stay in his room. He really will. He’s great about that. But did you catch the mention of volume in the previous paragraph? Even when he thinks he’s being quiet and just humming along to a song or reading aloud, he’s not quiet. (I wonder where he gets that? Hmm.) As his room shares a wall with LittleBrother’s (who still needs a nap), the quiet resting plan isn’t working for us.
I’ve started lining up activities for BigBrother. One day I placed my laptop at the dining room table so that I could still work while he sat next to me working on the workbooks I’ve been buying/collecting for him. He’s getting better with a pencil, something he struggles with regarding his fine motor skills which stem from his texture issues (not wanting to touch anything). Another day I sat on the floor, texting one of my bosses while we did a big puzzle. And another one. And another one. Today’s plan is to sit next to him in our playroom-slash-office and let him play games on the new computer (of which I need some software suggestions, please) while I finish up some important work. Of course, that was the plan yesterday. Do you know what he did yesterday?
That kid napped.
He hadn’t napped since his birthday. In mid-November. Minus vehicle rides that fell in mid-afternoon, the kid hadn’t taken a nap in almost two months. As I was setting up the computer for him yesterday, I noticed he was whining and rubbing his eyes. When I suggested that he go to the bathroom and get in bed, he didn’t even argue. I was so shocked for a bit that I forgot to get caught up on things. When I peeked in his door and found him asleep instead of reading his way through his bookshelf, I quietly shut the door, did a quiet, little jig in the hallway and raced around the house cleaning and smiling.
I have the computer games lined up for today. Tomorrow we’ll do more workbooks. And by Thursday I’ll be praying for Spring so I can work outside while he runs off the energy that he has apparently been bottling up since the cold weather rolled into the area. I also acknowledge that’s part of the problem. As much as I love winter, we need to get outside and run off some energy. Myself included.
I’m pretty sure that yesterday’s nap was a fluke, brought on by the exhaustion of spending the weekend with my parents. I’m willing to bet that this really is the End of an Era. As much as I’d love for him to keep napping forever, rumor has it that I’ll be annoyed when he’s a teenager and I’ve told him to mow the lawn and instead find him sleeping. If they’re anything like their father, they’ll be able to fall asleep in the middle of the living room floor after supper despite the noise and commotion of two children with too much energy crawling all over him. Maybe BigBrother will nap on occasion, like yesterday, but maybe not. I’m learning to be okay with that.
And, so, we are making yet another transition in this house. I’m relearning my time management right now, taking advantage of little moments here and there to get things done. I’m realizing how lucky I’ve had it for four years. I’m also enjoying the little moments we’re having together. I wish my attention didn’t have to be so split sometimes between work and home but the truth is that I have deadlines. They slow in the summer so there’s hope for that time as well. Right now, it’s working for him. When my mom called and asked to talk to him the other day during one of our afternoons at the dining room table, he told her that he was “working with mommy.”
I’ll take that.
13 Responses to “End of an Era. Maybe?”
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You lost me at “12 hours of sleep.” There are kids who do that? Continuously? Huh.
.-= Burgh Baby´s last blog ..Winner Winner Chicken Dinner =-.
Twitter: firemom
says:
Yeah, I know. We’re lucky. Which is why I hesitate to ever write about sleep and the like. Fear of that suddenly undoing itself and/or fear of people beating me with baseball bats. Scary stuff.
Yep, it seems I’m about here with Kate, too. Since the beginning of the year, she’s boycotted the weekend naps. (Her naps at daytime have gotten very, very short, too. Like 30 minutes.) I have bargained, threatened, left her gated into her darkened room: Nothing doing.
I’m going to restart ‘quiet time’ and let the girls play, quietly, in their room for an hour each day of the weekend. We’ll see how it goes. (Flora stopped napping before she was 3 years old. It broke my heart.)
Good luck. There are some days, I’m glad I work outside of the home!
ciao,
rpm
.-= red pen mama´s last blog ..Memory Lane: Dee’s Cafe =-.
It was so funny to see you blog about this because I was thinking of blogging about the exact same thing! My daughter is a little over 3-1/2 and has decided to stop napping. I am SO bummed! I LOVE my alone time, but at the same time I think it will be nice to have some mother-daughter time without her little brother interfering
.-= Kristie´s last blog ..First Big Snow this Winter =-.
Twitter: texasebeth
says:
wow – 12 hours? Charlie hasn’t napped since age 2 and we’re lucky to get 10hrs out of him at night. For software, Kiddo is liking the JumpStart advanced Preschool so far. We hve the regular cdroms and the Disney versions. Plus a Bob the Builder we got from 1/2 price books.
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Kiddo’s Big Kid Room Redo for his 5th birthday =-.
Twitter: firemom
says:
I forgot to link to the BlogHer question: http://www.blogher.com/groups-forums/family-connections/software-kids-fancy-computers
In short, we have 64-bit windows on everything but my work laptop and I cannot let the boys use that. So I need software that is compatible.
I’m a huge fan of Jumpstart World (http://www.jumpstart.com/) It is a for-fee site, but it’s educational and updates as your child moves through it with more advanced work. Jake’s been playing it for three years now. You download the software (so it’s not live internet if you are trying to avoid that) and then download the updates as necessary. They email you progress – cool! The Kindergarten work would be absolutely appropriate for BB. Jake is also a huge fan of brainpop.com – which was recommended to us by the special needs teachers.
Twitter: firemom
says:
We had JumpStart w/ the older computer. We’re now sporting 64-bit Windows on all of our computers except my work laptop which is causing some software compatibility issues. I need to find our JumpStart CD’s and attempt reinstallation. I’ll also attempt download from the site to see if it’s compatible. Hopefully.
I had not heard of brainpop.com yet so thank you!
We are going through the exact same thing with Katherine right now. So far “quiet time” is working some of the time. She maybe will fall asleep 1-2 days during that time. My rule is 30 minutes of “rest” where she has to be on her bed with no toys. If she is still awake then 30 minutes of playing on her bed with quiet toys and last 30 minutes playing in her room, often with her sister joining her. There has been much discipline given in this area and it continues to need assistance. I would be fine with her not napping IF she was not so grumpy at about 5:30.
.-= Christy@pipandsqueak´s last blog ..More Snow! =-.
Twitter: katie_in_ma
says:
Can you access the internet from that computer? I love letting the girls play with Sesame Street (seseamestreetworkshop.com, I think). THey’re all organized by character and age-appropriateness.
I like the “working with mommy” idea.
What I did with Gracie at that age was to let her watch a movie. Most Disney movies run 1 1/2 to 2 hours – the same duration as Bee’s nap. It was the only time the tv was on, so it usually held her attention!
.-= Katie in MA´s last blog ..How I got through my day. =-.
Twitter: katie_in_ma
says:
I wanted to let you know that I linked to you on my site today! It’s not so much a “tag” as it is a bit of recognition. Thanks for sharing pieces of your life with us – I always look forward to reading about the FireFamily adventures with my afternoon coffee.
.-= Katie in MA´s last blog ..Bling can make you smile. =-.
Widget gave up most afternoon naps around age 3. Quiet time in her room never worked for her either. She also sleeps roughly 12 hours at night- blessed on the sleeping.
Generally, at the time of the afternoon, she would have taken a nap, we watched a quiet movie (I love the Kipper dvds for this.
I think I have some preschool aged software that would work on that computer, if I can locate it (which I am pretty sure where it is) you are more than welcome to it. Its been hanging around here for years.
I always had my girls and the daycare kids I watched do quiet time in the afternoon right after lunch. I was lucky as my girls could sleep through anything as could any of the daycare kids that I got as infants. It stinks now because getting them up in the mornings as tween/teens because they could sleep through a bomb going off. Maybe have BB do an activity that is special and he can’t really do as easily with LB around. Good Luck!
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..She is at Peace =-.