I’ve learned things over the years as a fire wife. I (mostly) keep the scanner turned off when FireDad is at work. I go back to sleep (most of the time) when he’s called out to a fire in the middle of the night. I generally try to focus on the kids and the stuff of life that needs to be done when he’s working his normal 24 hour shift.
Technology makes that a bit more difficult.
I was behaving yesterday. I had the scanner turned off. We were spending a lovely day at home. I hadn’t talked much to FireDad on the phone but I knew that he had been busy, just as we had been at home. I called at one point but there was no answer. I figured he was busy with some fire station work. After the boys settled down in bed, I sat down to catch up on a bit of Facebooking when I learned from someone at the newspaper that there had been a house fire that day.
Instant panic.
Suddenly the fact that I hadn’t talked to my husband all day became a scary thing, not a normal thing. Was he okay? Were the other firefighters okay? Before my mind had time to go over all of the scary questions, the phone rang. It was FireDad. Instant fear relief. They had just finished washing up the trucks and he had taken his shower which is why he hadn’t answered earlier. All was well at the fire department.
Later I thought about how my calm day had been ruined by technology. I knew to avoid the scanner. Had FireDad told me about the fire when he called that evening, I would have been fine as it was after the fact. But those few minutes in between were not fun. Prior to the immediacy of Facebook and twitter, I wouldn’t have known about the fire without the scanner on (or being at work). Now, of course, I can find out about just about anything, almost instantly.
On the one hand, that’s good. On the other hand, I have gotten used to learning about most fires after the fact. It’s in my nature to be anxious and worry and, as such, I prefer hearing that the fire was big but everyone came out just fine. Should I now avoid Facebook (and even twitter) on FireDad’s shift days? Do I keep the computer turned off when he’s at work? It’s an option, perhaps a valid one.
Today’s fire spouses are now inundated with ways to keep up with their firefighters. While that can be a great thing, I continue to learn that every Internet application can be a double-edged sword. Whatever the case, I am glad that FireDad came home this morning and gave me my normal hug and kiss. Worries instantly alleviated more quickly than the immediacy of twitter… until his next shift day, that is.
8 Responses to “The Fire Life and Technology”
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I HEAR you! I have experienced this too many times and eventually gave up on the scanner. When I dispatched for the PD in the same city my husband worked I knew all the calls they were going on and what was happening. Being a part of it from that end took some of the worry and fear out of it because I knew that 90% of their calls were medical, and the fires were few and far between. However, now that I have moved away from dispatching, and we have a child now, those fears do arise at times. I just think positively when I kiss him good bye, and know that he has a great group of men and women alongside him that would be there. I love my husband for having the mental stability to deal with the things he does and the courage to run into burning buildings…its all a part of the package we marry into! Doesn’t mean its always easy…
On another note…this is a silly thing I got tagged in…thought I would share : YOU”VE BEEN TAGGED…go to http://eppersonfam.blogspot.com/2010/03/bag-tag-bag.html and do your own bag TAG bag.
I do hear you and have had similar scares, but I have a little different perspective that I think helps. One, I have been a firefighter myself so I have an idea of what it is like and how most of the calls are more annoying than dangerous. Having been there, I think helps me understand that for the most part my husband probably safe. The other perspective is that my worrying won’t change what happens. I can loose sleep worrying but in the end that won’t change anything that is happening on a fire scene. I guess I figure I will be better for my kids if I get some rest and am confident and secure in my dealings with them. However, that being said, there are some moments when I can’t get a hold of him right away that do scare me. I think it is unavoidable, whether you check facebook or not. Even back in the day, someone might pick up the phone and call you asking about that house fire you hadn’t heard from your husband about.
Twitter: katie_in_ma
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That’s a tough one, and I’m not sure how to answer because I’m not in that kind of situation. My guy is a pilot and while that carries its own risks, it’s not the same. I can tell myself he’s okay until I know he isn’t, but danger in his job is the exception, not the norm. I guess you just have to ask yourself whether your need to connect with other adults in that fashion is important enough on shift day to risk wading into unexpected worry. A double-edged sword, indeed!
Like you, I realize I could lose my Johnny at any time, and that worry would consume me IF I LET IT! In the summer of 2008 he was out on fires for 56 days, and I dutifully reported in to his Mom every time I heard from him. You could literally hear the stress dripping from her voice. “Well, I worry so!” she would say. And I understood, but when she worried, so did I . I finally told her, “Look Mom, I worry too. But he’s doing WHAT HE LOVES to do! And I’d much rather lose him while he’s doing something he LOVES than from a horribly long and painful illness or a car accident caused by some drunk driver! When God wants him, he will take him, no matter what.” And lo and behold SHE AGREED!! It’s not often my MIL agress with me, trust me. But anyway….it’s that way of thinking that gets me through the days. Hope it might help you too!
Twitter: firemom
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That IS a beautiful way of looking at it (which is a strange sentence in itself). Thank you for sharing that one with me. A quick question: is your husband a thrill-seeker in general? Motorcycle? Rock climbing? Other things that make you MORE scared than him rushing into a burning building? I’ve been seeing a trend in many firefighters (men and women alike).
I think he’d like to be a bigger risk-taker, but time doesn’t permit! He has two motorcycles and does write them, but not off-road. He did bungee jump once, I think. We’ve gone hot air balooning too. But in genreal, he doesn’t take big risks other than his job. (Unless you count making his Fire Wife angry!)
I think he’d like to be a bigger risk-taker, but time doesn’t permit! He has two motorcycles and does ride them, but not off-road. He did bungee jump once, I think. We’ve gone hot air balooning too. But in genreal, he doesn’t take big risks other than his job. (Unless you count making his Fire Wife angry!)
I have a slightly different perspective. My hubby and now daughter are both FF/EMT’s. They are volunteers though. hubby has been a volly for going on 20 years now. I know what they are going out on generally. There are a couple of things that help me keep my calm. 1. If something happens our chief will call me immediately. (Unfortunately I know this as a fact because hubby was hurt on a fire ground.) 2.I trust the people they are working with and trust the surrounding RIT teams etc. 3. I know that worry is just going to make me unhappy and make it hard on the boys here in the house with me. I just have to have faith. I know that no amount of worry on my part can change what they love.