I’m kind of upset with myself.
We’re experiencing our first out-right scheduling fail since I went back to the out-of-the-home work force this past October. Even though I’m (very) part time, I have dropped the ball. Big time. As you know, we’re camping right now. I’ve had to leave for four hours per day to work on one of my freelancing gigs. But we’ve got family all around us and the boys enjoy playing with their cousins, grandparents and associated extended family members. The leaving every day is not the problem.
I work every third Saturday at the newspaper. It just so happens to be this Saturday. I didn’t think anything of it for various reasons. I figured I would take all of my clothes, dirty laundry, books and what not home so that we would have a lighter load when we return home Sunday afternoon. And that would be fine, because the boys’ program was Sunday afternoon. So, I’d get back Sunday morning, laugh as they sang and danced on stage and we’d all go home, happy and relaxed.
Except… the program is on Saturday.
Did I mention this is the first year that LittleBrother has attended class and thus this will be his first year preforming in said program?
#Fail, #fail, #epicfail.
Yes, my mom can record it with our Flip… if I teach her. And yes, most likely FireDad will be able to get back to camp on Saturday to watch the boys sing and dance and smile and such. And yes, the boys will even survive without my presence. But, man, I’m feeling way guilty for many reasons. For not being more organized and realizing the scheduling flub while I could have fixed it. For somehow short-changing our younger son when I was at his brother’s first program ever. For choosing to work outside the home. For everything. For nothing.
But, man, the guilt. And, yes, I’ll get over it. But when I look back at BigBrother’s first program, at the same camp, I get kind of weepy that I won’t be there to see my little Bubba stand there and refuse to sing, too. So excuse me for a moment while I feel sorry for myself.
And since I’m doing that, here’s a video of BigBrother’s first program (navy blue striped shirt).
And, even funnier, here’s a brief, one-video song from last year’s program. BigBrother is a ham (green striped shirt).
Oh, memories. I’m really kind of sad that I won’t be there to make the memories with them this year. Thank goodness for technology. (And, yes, I realize we could have much greater problems. But I’m still upset with myself.)
7 Responses to “Working Mom #Fail”
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Oh Jenna, I so understand. There is nothing I can say except that I’ve been there and I’ll be there again and I so so so so understand. {{{hugs}}}
dawn´s last [type] ..My love affair with Sondheim
Twitter: firemom
says:
Thanks, Dawn. It felt awfully whiny to post considering we could have it SO much worse. But the truth is that this is the first time it has happened and I’m feeling quite emotionally thrown by it… more than I thought I would back when I took the job, knowing it would happen at some point. Thank you for our support.
Twitter: katie_in_ma
says:
I hate that endless loop of feeling guilty and upset over something that you know shouldn’t bother you as much, so then you feel guilty over having guilt, and on and on and on. Hang in there kiddo – I’m sure there will be camp joy or camp crises just around the corner and then you can save the day and break the cycle. Pinky swear.
Katie in MA´s last [type] ..Wonderfully Despicable
Twitter: firemom
says:
Whew. Pinky swears make me feel much better! (I’m already feeling better having confessed it all to my readers. Amazing how cathartic blogging can be.)
Twitter: texasebeth
says:
I so thoroughly get this! I am an epic fail when it comes to stuff like this for Kiddo. We don’t have a Flip (it’s on the list of stuff to save up for) and I consistently missed programs at Kiddo’s Pre-K last year. I’m swearing on a stack of Bibles by all that’s Holy I will be better for Kindergarten this fall! I work part time and have a semi-flexible schedule but still. LB will survive and so will you. Don’t forget you’ve been sick too so you’ve had a lot going on.
Elizabeth´s last [type] ..Dec 10- 1985 – high school journal writing assignment
Twitter: firemom
says:
That is a FANTASTIC point. I HAVE been sick. AND working. My brain was mushy for a few days in there!
I’m sorry. I dont evven have a little camera to take a picture for you
I know how bad these things can make you feel. I once had to move Christmas up a day due to work. Meg was only 2 though. We will all survive…
Mandy W.´s last [type] ..Worldless Wednesday- Holiday at Lake Erie