Mayday

Our firefighters fought two back-to-back fires the other night. There was a Mayday call. I spent some time in that uncertain world, not knowing facts and imagining the worst. When I learned that my husband was okay, I was able to breathe.

Hearing his voice on the phone later that morning made me feel like a twitterpated-teenager again. I was in love with his voice, his breath. As he drove down the lane toward me later that day, I could hardly control my joy, my relief, my love. I listened to his stories over a celebratory drink that evening. I held him close as we went to sleep. I woke up this morning and stared at his face (after I kicked the boys back out of our bedroom with promises of breakfast “in a few minutes”). I kissed him gently, overcome with thankfulness that I could do so. Again.

Firefighter Necklace

I bought this necklace a few weeks ago. I liked how it looked, but I didn’t know when I would wear it. Or with what. Yesterday I wore it with a brown shirt and a green cardigan. Today I’m wearing it with an ivory shirt and a tan cardigan. But it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t own a thing to wear it with; I’ll wear it on days like yesterday. I’ll wear it when I’m proud, when I’m afraid, when I’m missing my firefighter. I’ll wear it because it keeps him just that much closer to me, to my heart. His number, a fire truck, an axe, a hydrant, a helmet and the fact that he is my hero.

If you see me wearing this necklace, know that I have just sat on my couch in the pitch-black of night listening to the scanner. Maybe there was a mayday. Maybe there wasn’t. But know that my heart was in my throat and my brain was working on overdrive the entire time. We may know how to make our schedules work together, but I don’t imagine I’ll ever really get used to listening to my husband in imminent danger.

But let’s lay off on the mayday calls. I could really do without them.

 

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8 Replies to “Mayday”

    1. I’ve tried not listening to the scanner. Except I work at the newspaper, where I have to listen to the scanner. So, I just listen now.

      The link to the necklace is in the paragraph under the photo on the words “this necklace.”

  1. My dad retired last year as a fireman, and I *STILL* get a little heart flutter when I hear sirens, or the scanner go off (because of course, he still listens to it) or a pager vibrate.

    I couldn’t imagine having it be a husband and not a father.

  2. The Maydays stink. I am heading out to the NFFF for the Memorial Weekend tomorrow. It’s there that ‘the mayday’ really hits home. I both hate and love working in this area of the fire service. ((Hugs)) to you.

  3. I am reading Widow’s Walk at your recommendation. I have no idea how you do it all the time, day-to-day everyday life. Thanks to men (and women!) like Firedad who risk their lives for their communities, and thanks to Firespouses like you for letting them. (Not quite the right verb there, but you know what I mean.)

  4. Just a follow up:

    I now own the necklace as well! I couldn’t resist.

    Told FireDude that he bought me an early Christmas present, once he saw what it was he said, “just wear it”.

    Thank you Jenna for the great recommendation!

    FYI ~ had a friend’s teenage daughter loop the charms on the chain in ascending spots so you can see the entire necklace :D

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