How to Meet Firefighters

Recently I received contact from someone who wanted to know how to meet (with the intent of dating) firefighters. I have some ideas.

How to meet firefighters:

• Set something on fire. Preferably not yourself. If you do, stop, drop and roll. Not blog. That doesn’t stop flames.
• If arson isn’t your thing because jail time is a turn off, just yell, “FIRE!” in a crowded room. Be aware that inducing panic is a misdemeanor offense. Unless someone gets hurt. Then it’s a felony. Test your luck.
• Fall down. Don’t get up. Though, if you live in an area where the ambulance company is outsourced to a private company, you may end up with EMTs or Paramedics, not firefighters. However, you might end up with both. It’s a risk you have to take.
• Climb up a tree with a kitten. Leave the kitten there. Climb down. Call the fire department. See if they show up.
• Two words: Bomb scare!
• Crash your vehicle into something so hard that the Jaws of Life are needed. Try to stay conscious and/or alive for when the firefighters arrive. Bat eyelashes while blood drips down your forehead.

This is all very tongue in cheek. Obviously. I rolled my eyes and laughed at the email I got concerning how to meet — with the intent of dating — firefighters. Not one firefighter. Any firefighter. I laughed and laughed and laughed. And then read the email aloud to my friends. And laughed some more.

Just as women hate to be lumped together, doing so to men is equally as offensive and ridiculous. I can tell you that the firefighters in my husband’s department are as different from one another as I am from my co-workers. They view life, relationships, work and the “big issues” in their own unique ways. They have their own personalities. Some firefighters I get along with just fine, whereas I couldn’t have any form of a relationship with others due to major conflicts in thought. You know, just like other men and women.

I am not a fan of Firehouse Floozies, Groupies or whatever you want to call them. Yes, firefighters swoop in and save the day. Yes, that’s all very Romance Novel and dreamy and other silly nonsense. I would have married my husband even if he wasn’t a firefighter. While he was a volunteer firefighter when I met him, he wasn’t a professional firefighter yet. I got to know him as a person and a friend. I fell in love with his sense of humor, his intelligence, his ability to communicate, the fact that he does laundry (!) and his eyes-eyelash-combo. Among other things. In fact, the whole “running into burning buildings” thing was initially a turn off — not because it’s “unsexy” but because it scared (uh, scares, present tense) the living daylights out of me. If FireDad had been AccountantDad with the same sense of humor, eyelashes and lack of running into burning buildings, we might have started dating sooner than we did. But who knows.

What I’m trying to say is this: Don’t waste your time — or a firefighter’s time — trying to figure out how to meet them. If you meet one while out and about in your community and think the sense of humor and eyelash combo are setting your heart aflame, try to find out information about him or her. But don’t just try to stalk down any living, breathing firefighter just for the sake of some sexy hero worship fantasy. The hero worship gets old fast. Trust me.

However, and I’ve said it before, firefighters like baked goods. ‘Nuff said.