2011 August » Stop, Drop and Blog

A Part of Me

Aug 182011

He went to his first day of Kindergarten. And the world kept turning. And at the end of the day, we picked him up to find him in one piece, having eaten all of his lunch and with a big, big smile.

I meant to snap a picture of that smile. I specifically took my good camera to capture the moment. But the crowds of parents waiting outside the school were thick. Children were milling about. It was a crowd — something in which I do not function well. The panic that I had fought earlier in the day slammed back into me and I had to forcibly remind myself to breathe.

I spotted the Kindergarten teachers standing together and started making my way in their direction. They were to be standing outside with those who were being picked up at the end of the day. As I made my way through that crowd, I didn’t initially see BigBrother. I saw a kid from his class, a child that I knew was in another class and then suddenly bodies blurred together, meshing into one blurry mass of noise and color. I felt like I was swimming upstream, slowly, as I took the final steps around one of the other teachers.

And there he was. Looking for me too. I caught the brief look of not-quite-fear but not-quite-content on his face before his eyes met mine. And he broke into the biggest smile I have been greeted with since he was a crib-bound toddler smiling at me as I opened his nursery door in the morning. The crowd simply melted away as I enveloped him in a hard, big hug, all the way around his huge, full backpack.

We walked back to the car, hand in hand, as he chattered on about his day. The anxiety I had earlier in the day didn’t disappear completely — we have 179 more days of school experiences to get through this year. But that smile and that hug let me know that he’s still ours. And that constant chatter the whole way home let me know that he’s still carrying a part of me with him even when he’s out of my sight and control.

Where to Begin?

Parenting 18 Responses »

Aug 162011

Tonight was Open House for Kindergarten. We got a questionnaire to fill out before he heads off to Kindergarten on Thursday. It’s a “getting to know you” type thing for the teacher. His favorite color (green), favorite movie (currently Megamind), favorite food (probably pierogies). It also has some questions for the parents.

One made me pause. “What would you like for me to know about your child.”

Oh so much, Nice Teacher Lady.

He is the most loving child I know. He doesn’t like to lose. He doesn’t want do wrong and fears disappointing those that he loves. He is fiercely loyal. He is kind. He is bold. He is loud. He is mostly happy. When he seems unhappy, it’s usually because he’s tired or hungry — probably hangry.

He wants to be a Space Ranger, a firefighter and, new to the list, an exterminator like Billy the Exterminator. He doesn’t sit still very well, but he loves to be read to and is learning to love to read. He hates when he can’t figure out what a word says on his own. He can figure it out when you spell S-A-N-T-A.

He makes me snort-laugh my coffee in the mornings. He eats very slowly. He likes to talk over meals. Over stories. Over everything and everyone. Ever. He likes to talk.

He’s very trusting. Too trusting. He believes everyone is good. He will take you at your word. He has not yet grasped sarcasm and if you tell him that aliens will abduct him if he doesn’t eat his peas, he will believe you. Though he has figured out what lying is and will call you on it when you mention aliens abducting him. Not because he doesn’t believe in aliens, but because he believes that aliens are our friends.

He is sensitive. But he is mighty. He doesn’t like to be embarrassed — but who does?

He is new to telling jokes. They don’t make sense and they’re not funny. Just laugh.

He is the reason I wake up in the morning. Quite literally, as he rarely makes it until 7:00 most days. But I mean that in the mommy-heart, sappy-crappy way too. He ushered me into what the world accepts as a definition of motherhood. He baptized me by fire in all the ways of mommyhood and he constantly keeps me on my toes.

He is bright and beautiful and babbling and blunt and bouncy and busy. But he is a blessing.

Open House