Summer is over. Or, it ends tonight at bedtime. School starts tomorrow morning.
I am not happy.
I know some people get all, “Is it TIME for these KIDS to go back to school YET?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for the school year, for the routine of our school-year life. For menu plans we stick to. For bedtimes we enforce. For knowing what our days will look like, all day, every day. We work well with a routine of that nature, with everything and everyone in their place.
But oh, I have loved this summer.
I don’t want to send them back to school. I want to have the freedom to rework my work schedule and take off for the day. I want to travel, to experience new things. I want to laze about when we’re too tired to do anything else. I want to play in the yard all day long. I want to build forts and throw flippity-flips and make robots and collapse on my back in fit of giggles, staring at the clouds passing by. I want to sit in the flower bed and pull weeds with my boys. I want to stay up late watching a movie and sharing a bowl of popcorn. I want to eat ice cream or Popsicles more nights than we don’t. I want to time the boys as they run around the house (even though I’m not really timing them and am just giggling that they delight in running around the house).
True. There’s still time for all of these things, somewhere between the afternoon school pick-up and the snack and the homework and the soccer practices on different nights and the evening meal and the baths and the reading and the bedtimes. We’ll still make time for playing, for fun, for memories, for the stuff that makes our family ours. We will. I have no doubt. There will still be giggles and fun and arguments and love. But we lose that freedom that summer brings.
I want to be able to do all the things. Summer makes me feel like I can, like we can do whatever we want whenever we want. There are limitations, of course: my job, my husband’s job, the fact that the boys are only so old and can only do so much, that thing called money and the blazing fast speed with which summer speeds by. Add in a week lost to a power outage and, no, summer didn’t feel long enough this year — even though we did so much.
Quite honestly, this was the best summer. Ever. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours and we lived it. Thoroughly. I am reluctant to say goodbye to letting the boys sleep in; it was rare, but they did it. I am hesitant to let go of these freedoms that we got so used to in such a short amount of time. I am worried about trying to get back into a schedule, into a routine even though I know it will work and that we will be fine.
As the sun sets on this season, I look at these two boys and I feel filled with such a gratitude for every little moment. I know there are good things on the horizon of yet another season of our lives together. I look forward to living through them… together.