The evening before I headed off to Boston on business, BigBrother came down with a low grade fever.
Because that’s the way life goes.
I felt twinges of mommy guilt, but shrugged the feeling off because my husband, in addition to being a loving and capable father, is a paramedic. I default to his knowledge anyway when little bodies cause the mercury to rise or the digital numbers to continue rising. So when the sun and the boys rose on Monday morning, BigBrother still sporting a mild fever, I kissed his head, told him to listen to daddy, sent him back to bed, and walked out the door.
I thought about him off and on all day, sending text messages to text when I could. I felt relieved that he was feeling okay, even though his fever would creep back up as the medicine wore off throughout the day. I took a moment to FaceTime with the three of my favorite male people before I headed off to dinner.
As I took cold medicine for my own non-fevered allergies that night, I sent a kiss across the miles to his warm forehead.
It didn’t matter. He woke up on Tuesday morning with a fever as well. I could tell as I talked to my husband that he wasn’t worried, but he definitely wished that the two days I was out of town were going much differently in our own home. When I walked in the door after bedtime last night, I went to BigBrother’s room and woke up him to give him medicine; he was still feverish and it was time. A smile broke out across his face before he even opened his eyes. “Mommy… you’re home!” I kissed his forehead for real, helped him drink the ibuprofen, and tucked him back under the covers.
This morning went much the same.
We called the nurse line just to check in; we’re doing everything the “right” way, doing all we can with no other symptoms present at this time. He’s bored, though he’s read a billion and one books — which is good for him. Right? And so is resting. And snuggling. And asking me 87 trillion questions while I wade through my inbox. Right?
We went through his missed homework this afternoon and evening. He’s missing his friends and his normal routine. He missed his brother today, but his brother just wanted to relax alone when he got home from school. I am hopeful that BigBrother will be fever free in the morning.
Mainly so that last little bit of mommy guilt can fly away.