“It is the memory that enables a person to gather roses in January.” – Unknown

January is over. I can’t say that I’m sad to see it go. What started off as a wonderful month has become an increasingly difficult year. The death of my beloved Grandfather has thrown me for a loop, leaving me unable to find the words to properly blog over the past few weeks. With some other severe health concerns in my husband’s family, FireDad and I are somewhat dreading the continuation of this year. That sounds so negative and unlike me, unlike us as a whole.

And yet, while I’ve been immensely sad, the quote above applies. Something about the passing of someone so dear allows us to reach into the back caverns of our mind and remember things we simply hadn’t taken the time to pull to the front of our brains. I know that I was lucky. Or, rather, I am lucky to have been so loved by such a wonderful man. I am the luckiest of all of the grandchildren in the fact that my children not only got to meet their great-grandfather, their Big Papau, but they got to love and interact and play and laugh with him as well. I feel sad that my brother and his wife won’t know that same joy. I feel even more sad that the other grandchildren won’t get to introduce their future spouses to Grandpa. Maybe I am the luckiest. I do try to remember that.

Despite the grief of this month, it’s been a rather successful one. I’ve read eight books and, no, I don’t know where I found the time. I hit my deadlines though it was very difficult for me to do last week and contributed to a lack of blogging here (and there). I drove around Ohio. We just finished the floor in our kitchen and dining room (more about that project here). (By we I mean my amazing husband with a smidgen of help from his dad, his grandpa and a phone call to one of my uncles.) I started yoga in a class setting and really kicked up my own personal workout time, successfully losing two pounds this month (though I may have gained that back this weekend during a lovely day out with my friends). I started hosting two separate (awesome) giveaways. I had a post syndicated on BlogHer (go leave a comment on my parenting in public post if you would). And I took (at least) one picture, every single day.

In 2008 when my maternal (step)Grandfather died, I failed that very week at Project 365. I really thought that the passing of my paternal Grandfather would do the same. Instead, in the confusing hour after that phone call, I picked up my camera and expressed my grief visually. I may fancy myself a writer but the photographer in me comes out when I can’t find the words to say what I’m feeling in the deep recesses of my heart. January, of course, proves difficult in this region when it comes to creativity and lighting. I do hope that during the month of February I can work on being a bit more creative and not just flubbing through the project. Either way, I’ll keep at it.

January was difficult but it seems that I not only survived but managed to be rather successful despite the fog of grief. I will admit that even though they often bring tears, remembering and sharing stories and memories about my Papau has been a welcome distraction from the sadness. It’s been my way of gathering roses in this bleak midwinter month of January. Though, I’ll be honest, I’m ready for Spring as I have an idea to honor my Grandfather.

Plus, I’m cold. Brr.

New Year’s Eve was great. The kids played together, danced and raced their Mario Karts. The adults played card and board games. Everyone, including every last child, stayed up until midnight. I got to kiss FireDad as the ball finally dropped. And, minus packing up to leave, not one child cried. All evening. There wasn’t even much whining or arguing. It was a New Year’s Eve Miracle!

Which means it’s now 2010. Time to make some new goals for the year.

1. Reading Goal: 50 books. I set a goal of 60 last year and made it to 57. I find this acceptable. I’m dropping back down to 50 because I know it’s attainable with everything else that I do. I have my 2010 read list on Goodreads set up and will really be striving to keep it updated this year. More over, I have another goal to add 100 books to the boys’ library this year and I’ll be keeping track of their new books on Goodreads as well.

I thought about discussing my five favorite books that I read this year but, I’ll be honest, I can’t pick five. I will say, however, that The Time Traveler’s Wife was not only my favorite this year but likely ranks as my favorite ever. I need to re-read previous favorites and make that final decision.

2. Photography Goal(s): Participate in (and finish!) Project 365, get better at sports photography, purchase my new personal dSLR and push myself creatively. As you know, I’m working part-time for the local newspaper. Minus the getting better at sports photography, which will come in time, my goals are all personal. I failed at Project 365 last year but have faith that 2010 will be my year of completion. Similarly, my plan in 2009 was to purchase my new dSLR but then my laptop died mid-year and that took over the purchase money. Then I got the newspaper job and my plans for sticking with Canon flew out the window (we shoot with Nikon) so I’ve been busy researching Nikon purchases. As far as pushing myself creatively, it’s harder in the winter but I know that the reason I fail with Project 365 is because I get stuck in a rut. I hope to start following some more blogs, join some great challenge flickr groups and generally surround myself with other awesome photographers (likely virtually) to keep me on task. Also, I’m going to make a Vision Board (not just about photography but largely).

3. Fitness Goal: Tone up and/or lose 10 pounds. I don’t want to discuss the failure of last year considering, at one point, I exceeded my goal and then lost it. I do, however, want to get back on the fitness train this year. I’m fine with certain aspects of how my body has changed but I desperately need to tone up. I am not needing to lose a ton of weight so I’m not applying to be a #mamavation mom but I have considered the sistahood. I’m also back to tracking things on SparkPeople. I think I’m going ahead with the purchase of Wii Fit Plus. When warmer weather comes around, I might do something more outside. Not sure yet.

As per usual, I hope to stay organized, be a great mom and continue with some of my professional writing goals. (Which I’m apparently doing in ways that are bigger than I could have imagined at this time last year.) I’m hoping that at the end of 2010, whether or not these three(+) specific goals are fully “finished,” that I am a happy and healthy version of myself and that my husband and children are the same. Really, in the end, that’s the ultimate goal but, for me, that happiness is tied to some of these things as is my health.

Here’s hoping your 2010 is happy and healthy, too!

I’ve just updated my Goodreads list of read books for 2009. I always forget to update that thing. But it now reflects what is actually going on in my reading life. I have read six books this year (one of which I absolutely loved). I am now currently reading nothing (see?). I did request the following books from our library just now:

1. Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog by John Grogan. I saw the movie first, which is something I rarely do. I now am forced, by my own personal moral code, to read the book and make the necessary comparison: which was better? The book or the movie? My guess will be the book but, oh, the movie was so wonderful.

2. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. This is evidence that I am deep in the throes of dorking out musically as of late. As our chorale continues to practice for our spring show, I’m finding myself listening to soundtracks non-stop. While I know the story (and the music) of Wicked, I now need to read the book. Why? Because I need to.

3. Son of a Witch, also by Gregory Maguire. I’ll be honest. In all my musical dorkiness, I didn’t know this book existed until today. I about fell off the couch when I was bebopping through titles and saw this one. And so, it must be read as well.

4. The Mighty Queens of Freeville: a mother, a daughter and the people who raised them by Amy Dickinson. I requested this one because Redbook told me to. Okay, I don’t do everything Redbook tells me to (but look for a theme on this in the near future) but I do always check out their book reviews. This one spoke to me and so, here we go.

They should all arrive in the next week through our awesome library system. (Also requested? The Making of Miss Saigon DVD and the full vocal score of the same musical. For those who don’t know what my renewed interest is in that musical, I encourage you to read this post and then offer me your congratulations.) I hate that I’m wasting a week in the process. I think I have some books in the house that have not yet been read and so I could jump into one of them but… sometimes they haven’t been read for a reason.

Especially that one book. That’s right. Two of my friends have ganged up on me and I currently have a copy of Twilight sitting on the table next to the couch. I said I’d read it if my one friend liked it after the other lent it to her first. And she went ahead and liked it. No, loved it. I should make good on reading it but I’m avoiding it like some kind of vampiric plague.

As such, we’re heading into town tonight and I want to buy a book. Please offer me your best suggestions. I like fiction and nonfiction alike. I could probably do without reading any serious parenting books right now as I feel parented out. A funny look at parenting would be accepted. I don’t really dwell much in chick lit but appreciate a good one. And, also, if the book totally avoids the word adoption, I’d be grateful. I’m also somewhat adoption storylined to death as of late.

You have until 3:30pm (EST) to offer suggestions. Winning suggestion (how well you sell your book to me and if it is available where we will be) will receive… a link if you’re a blogger… my deepest thanks… and a virtual cookie. Mmm, cookies. Unless you suggest more Twilight books. Then you will receive virtual liver and onions. It’s your choice.

[Note: No blog post yesterday because we were without internet due to an outage in a main city for most of the day. Yes, it was horrible but we did survive. Shockingly.]

I didn’t update you when January ended as to how Project365 is going. (You know, since January ended on a weekend and, to boot, the day before the Super Bowl. I was otherwise occupied.) The report is that it is going well (which you know if you follow the photoblog)! I haven’t missed a day. I have, once, scrambled at the last minute to take a picture but it turned out all right in the end. I have also, once, taken a picture of something really boring because I knew I wouldn’t have time to take another picture all day. While I know I’ll have more variety (read: pictures of more than just TheBrothers) when spring rolls around, I did manage to capture quite a few shots of our winter landscape as well this past month.

To document my journey through Project365, I make monthly collages. Take a look at January’s collage.

See? Lots of snow! There are various ways to go about making a collage.

1. Big Huge Labs has a mosaic maker. If you’re using flickr, making your collage is exceptionally easy. I tag all of my Project365 photos with “project365 month year” so that when I go to make a collage, I just enter my email address, the tag I want it to find, click go and it throws them into a collage for me.You do have to select how many pictures you want or it will pull the default of two. You then can save it directly to your flickr photostream with one click!

2. Picnik now also has a collage maker but it is for premium members (which, of course, I am one). It works just like Big Huge Labs in that you select how many pictures you want, enter the flickr tag and it does the work for you. I am always careful to select print quality so I can print them as well. You can then add text right in the Picnik editor which is why I now prefer this method over the previous one. Picnik then lets you save your creation to your computer, flickr and even photobucket, Picasa, Facebook and others.

3. You can kick it “old” school and do it the long way with Photoshop, Paint Shop Pro or any other photo editing software. You’d just create a new blank canvas and crop each of your pictures to the same size, putting each onto the canvas. This, of course, gives you the most creative leeway. And I’d really rather do it this way. But I don’t have enough time to myself as it is, folks!

Anyway, once you get it created and saved, you can print it off. Put it on your fridge and show off your artwork along with your kids! And, in fact, I want to help you do just that!

I’m giving away an HP Photosmart (C6380) wireless printer over on the review blog. That’s right! One of you will be able to print your Project365 mosaics (or whatever you so desire) from the comfort of your couch. Head on over to the review blog for a chance to win this awesome offering from HP and BlogHer. (And, while you’re at it, hit up BlogHer’s giveaway for an extra chance. But go to mine first because I said so.)