Parenting Better (or Worse) Through Technology

 Techie Talk  4 Responses »
Feb 022010
 

For the past few months, I’ve been participating in BlogHer’s Family Connections citizen journalism project as a Momspotter. Basically that means I tweet a few times a day with the #momspotting hashtag about how I use technology in my day-to-day parenting life. I’m sure you’ve seen me talk about everything from battery hogging handheld devices to the big search for our family desktop and that one time I was tweeting about Bejeweled Blitz in the preschool pickup line. (I love Bejeweled Blitz.) And so! Now I’m going to tell you a few things about me. Because this is my blog.

If you like the meme, feel free to do one yourself and leave a link in the comments or tweet it with the #momspotting hashtag. Or don’t do it. No pressure, I promise.

1.       Which expensive electronic device do you most often let your older children abuse or your baby drool on?

Our family desktop. Now, to be fair, it was purchased (just recently) with the knowledge that it would be used by the kids. But sometimes I do cringe when I walk in the room and they’re actively touching the computer screen with their grubby little fingers. What? They’re my kids. I can call their fingers grubby if I want to! I researched pretty darn hard and well (we went with HP… again) and feel kind of secure that they won’t totally trash it to smithereens. We do have rules. Of course, we also have a rule that they should use their inside voices. That works well. Not.

But he looks cute, doesn’t he?

Playing the Computer

Also? I now have the smallest computer screen (on my laptop) in the whole family.

2.       How many take-out restaurant numbers do you have programmed into your phone?

Two. Both are local pizza joints. Why only pizza? That’s the only take-out in our area. Welcome to Small Town, Ohio. Do I get bonus points for also having the library programmed in? I do? Sweet.

3.       How many hours of television do you so totally not let your kids watch a week?

I really hate this question. I don’t really know a daily, in-and-out total. I pay attention to what they watch. I make sure we’re doing other things. I observe their cues and schedule No-TV Days when they are needed. But do they watch more than the recommended none for LittleBrother’s age and two hours for BigBrother’s age? Yes and mostly. Don’t judge me. The Bible says not to. (Name the comedian.)

4.       Do you think people who say “we don’t watch television” at playdates but really mean “we just watch DVDs” are lying liars from Liarville?

Maybe. We do prefer DVD’s to television simply because of my background in working for television news. Commercials are evil. They are. You can argue it with me but the truth is that they are made with your/my child in mind and they do, in fact, want our kids to say, “Oh-em-gee, Mommy! I haftahavethatRIGHTNOW!” That said, DVD’s do count in screen time so those who think they’re not letting their kids watch “television” by going that route are slightly delusional. Or Lying McLiarpants from McLiarville.

5.       How many miles have you driven with your child and not one device of electronic entertainment in a single car trip?

Seven. It should have been six but have you ever driven two small children, by yourself? A bathroom break takes eons. Also, if the radio counts, then I’m out. And? I won’t be doing that again. That was silly.

6.       What’s your record for calls to the pediatrician or Ask-a-Nurse in a single day?

Three. To be fair, the first and second were because I accidentally hung up on the nurse when I hit a button with my chin. The third was to inform her that, yes, he did puke again. All over me. And that we would be coming in. With my laundry.

7.       What’s the sexiest thing your husband/partner could text you after a hard day?

Your wine is waiting. Or, your wine is waiting and the kids are asleep. Or, your wine is waiting and the kids are asleep and I bought us a hot tub and installed it while you were out and, you know, you look really sexy in that bathing suit of yours; I’ll be waiting. That said, the last option doesn’t fit in a text message so I can safely say that’s never going to happen.

8.       What’s your favorite iPad joke?

The iPad is not a joke. It is beautiful. Gorgeous. And luxurious. But, no, advertising, even in the form of press releases, has no affect on us, does it?

9.       What’s the dumbest parenting tool, gear, gadget or device you ever bought?

A potty with a foam seat ring. You know what happens with a foam seat ring? IT SOAKS UP THE URINE. Do you know what that smells like after a week or two? Also, add in the stroller that came with the “travel system” that we purchased for our first son (BigBrother). Not only was it too big and poorly made but we almost never used the thing.

10.   How many years will it take for your child to become more tech-savvy than you?

Have you met BigBrother? He’s working on it. It may be his life goal. Or, wait. His life goal right now is to be a Space Ranger. If he accomplishes that, I would say he’s more tech-savvy than me/us by far. That said, I’m pretty on top of things. I don’t want to think about having to ask them to fix my computer/TV/hover-craft. I’m the Mommy, dang it.

I encourage my readers not only to follow the #momspotting hashtag and join in the conversation but to visit the Family Connections forum. We’ve been having great conversations on everything from Facebook to how we can possibly have time to blog/tweet/etc if we’re actively parenting to making our marriages better… online. I have really enjoyed the give and take of information, ideas and laughter. You should join in. (Also, if you’re touched by adoption, stop in the adoption forum where I’ve been spear-heading some discussion.)

I’m working on this project through the end of March. If you have anything you’d like me to broach either on twitter or the Family Connections forum regarding technology and parenting, drop me a comment, email or tweet.

Tragedy, The Internet and Honor

 Family, Techie Talk  10 Responses »
Jan 252010
 

When the phone call came on that Sunday morning, I immediately called my husband who was at work. I asked him to come home from the fire station which is where he always is when we have an emergency of some sort. That’s how the fire life works. After I talked to him, I called my best friend back in Pennsylvania, near The Farm, and sobbed at her to contact my parents’ Pastor. She’s the only other person I could have called in that state of incoherency; the only person that could have understood me through my tears.

While waiting for my husband to arrive home, I sat down and both tweeted and posted on Facebook about my grandfather’s sudden death. While people have come under fire for tweeting at a time of tragedy, it was the only thing left that made sense for me to do at the time. I was two hours from my family, waiting for my biggest support person to arrive home and I was absolutely hysterical. I needed to reach out to someone, to anyone.

I’m so glad that I did.

The response that I got was overwhelming (in a good way). Soon the reply tweets, direct messages, Facebook replies, e-mails and phone calls started coming. I still haven’t managed to reply to every single message that came in during the course of a very, very long week of intense grieving. I plan to but it’s been slow going. I received messages from others who had endured similar losses in the recent past. I received sympathy cards. In my snail mailbox. I received a box of Valentine cards (Toy Story, of course) from a friend who wanted to help me “check something off my to-do list,” as her card read. And I received real, physical help from someone I met during another tragic Internet gathering who helped me fix an error with my grandfather’s obituary when it ran without the photo and then showed up at my grandfather’s calling hours on his lunch break. These people reached out to me in my time of need just like my “real life,” just-down-the-road friends who picked up my mail and bought me a coat. Do you know why?

These people on the Internet aren’t just strangers on the other side of a keyboard. They’re friends.

I get frustrated when people dismiss friendships or relationships that were formed via keyboard. The fact that some of these friends sent apology emails, feeling guilty for not being able to attend services, lets me know that we’re more than just anonymous people hiding behind screens. Over the years, through blogs and forums and, yes, even twitter, lasting friendships have been formed. People care about one another. In the midst of this sudden and excruciating loss, I have been comforted by the fact that so many people care about the well-being of my family. Online and off, my family has been touched this week by the outpouring of love. I should make a small aside to say that my friends who live both in Ohio and Pennsylvania were also equally amazing during this very difficult time. Again, I have been so touched and so amazed by the support offered by so many loving individuals.

I’m still not “okay” with this sudden loss. I am still mostly heartbroken, still prone to tears at random moments when he crosses my mind in a memory. I appreciate this space here on the Internet where I can talk about him as I need to, when I can tweet about missing him, and not be reproached for grieving improperly. I am thankful for those who continue to reach out, to ask after my grandmother and to offer support. My grandfather was a loyal man and the loyalty that has been shown to me by my friends, near and far, is something that honors his legacy.

Good job, Internet. Good job. And, mostly, thank you. So very much.

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