Stop, Drop and Blog

I took a book with me to a recent sporting event that I was covering. I had a lull between two events, and I settled myself down on the bleachers to get some quality outdoor reading time in during an otherwise busy day. A coach walking by asked me what I was reading. I explained that I was reading A Widow’s Walk by Marian Fontana, a 9/11 firefighter’s widow memoir. His response?

“I lived through it once. I don’t want to read about it again.”

That’s why I felt it necessary to read the book, why I read books about that day to my children and teach them not only about the events but about peace. I’ve had a feeling of uneasiness leading up to today — to tomorrow — that we have forgotten. The recent hateful demonstration talk, whether it gets officially called off or not, makes me wonder if any of those people have sat with a widow and her son. I did for 424 pages, and I think we all should do the same.

Fontana’s memoir was not an easy read, though I figured as much before I made the purchase. September 11, 2001 was her eighth wedding anniversary with her husband Dave, a firefighter with Squad 1. He was getting off of his fire shift that morning. They talked on the phone and planned to meet at the local coffee shop after she dropped their son off at his second day of Kindergarten.

He never arrived.

The following journey is one we all know and, simultaneously, one the large majority of us have no idea about having not actually lived through the trial of waiting, wondering, realizing and mourning. I consider myself pretty well educated on the events of the day and the subsequent aftermath. I didn’t need Fontana to tell me the number 343. I knew some of the names from her husband’s squad. I knew about her work with the 9/11 Families Association.

But I didn’t know about the Fresh Kills dump and the issues they had with the “pit” being cleared too quickly and bodies being found there. I didn’t know that Squad 1 was almost shut down just two weeks after the attacks on the World Trade Center. I wasn’t hassled by my kid’s Kindergarten teacher about his attendance, his performance. I didn’t know about the fights between the police and the firefighters. I just didn’t know so much. At least once a chapter, I would look up, tears in my eyes, and read something aloud to my husband. He would nod, and I would go back to reading.

I will be honest: I didn’t read one chapter in this book in which I didn’t shed some kind of tear. Some chapters provided for full on sobbing, while others warranted just a drop or two on the page. As I said, it wasn’t an easy book. Like Fontana, I want to believe that here in the middle of Nowheresville, my firefighter husband is safe. I acknowledge the danger of running into burning buildings, but as a firefighter’s wife, I have to believe he’s going to be okay, that his crew will protect him and that the buildings simply won’t fall. As Fontana went through the grieving process while acting as an advocate for 9/11 families, she dealt with the same thought processes.

I’m passing this book on to my friends, not because they’re firefighter wives but because it is an extremely well-written book that taught me things about a subject I thought I knew a lot about… but apparently didn’t know everything. I don’t think we can know everything about 9/11. I recommend this book to all. But keep tissues handy.

I also bought a new book for the boys this year. September Roses is a small book in size and length. The story follows two sisters from Africa who arrive in New York City on 9/11 for the flower show. After the show is canceled and they are given lodging by a good Samaritan, they use their flowers to create a beautiful memorial of the towers.

The art is beautiful, though I do have a small complaint that the writing of the book is written in easy-to-read cursive… but it’s still cursive. Despite being on the cusp of reading, BigBrother won’t be able to read this book by himself for quite some time. That said, this book combined with Fireboat, On That Day and their ages brought about a lot of discussion about the World Trade Center, airplanes, firefighters and the like. Going with the lessons from On That Day, I’ve explained that sometimes people do bad things and people get hurt but the world is still a good place. We’ll be following everything up with Can You Say Peace? by Karen Katz.

I can read all the books. I can teach my children. I can force myself to remember. But I can’t change that part of our history. I can’t bring back those who were lost. I can’t fill the holes left in hearts, in families, in histories. And so I do my small part in all of this, however small, in hopes that my children will understand love and patience and respect and tolerance. I don’t have magic answers, but I will do my part to make sure our family never forgets.

If you’d like to participate in remembering, honoring or the education of our children, here are a few ideas.

• Visit Project 2996 which is dedicated to making sure that every person who lost their life on 9/11 has an online tribute still live on the Web. We participated last year, honoring Stephen Gordon Ward.
• Read through some of the ideas I shared at Mom Central Technology about using tech to safely teach kids about the events of 9/11.
• Participate in the Tunnel to Towers Run, honoring Firefighter Stephen Siller (also a Squad 1 firefighter). The run is not for two more weeks, but there are a number of 5K’s (and the like) this weekend sponsored by fire departments and others dedicated to the memory of those we lost nine years ago. Find one and either run or cheer on those who are running.
• Visit your local fire department with some cookies and simply offer a thanks.

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