One of our Advent activities this week was to go shopping for a child through a local program. I could have easily gone on my own, saved time (and money) and simply had the boys come with me to drop them off at the location. In fact, that’s kind of what I had in mind when I wrote it on our list.
But…
It didn’t feel right, leaving them out of the actual process. So, we bundled up on Tuesday — a blustery, cold day — and made our way to the store as a family of four. I explained what we were doing in the car on the way there. I talked it up a bit, because LittleBrother did not seem to think that anything involving shopping made for a good or fun activity. He is his father’s son. As we piled out of the car, I crossed my fingers and said a prayer and generally hoped upon hopes that they understood we were buying presents for another little boy so he could have a nice Christmas… not anything for ourselves.
We began shopping like any other trip. I was so happy that a double cart was available, thus allowing both boys to ride in style (they pretend it is a train) and allowing me the joy of not having my children run amok in the toy department. Win-win. Our gift recipient was in between the boys’ ages and liked Cars (the Disney kind) and Disney in general. I explained this to the boys, and they took care picking out a few toys for the boy. Neither asked for anything in the Boy Aisle of Awesomeness, though they did ask if they could hold the toys as we made our way to books and coloring books.
They picked out two books, one of which is one that I kind of want for our library, but — again — neither asked for a book. We moved on to coloring books, found one that looked like it would be fun… and ran into an issue here. BigBrother spotted a Star Wars coloring book, the Clone Wars being something new and fascinating to him even though he hasn’t actually seen it on TV. Ah, peers. He looked at it, he looked at me. He asked if he could see inside. I did hand it to him, and he paged through looking for connect-the-dots — a current favorite. He handed it back and asked if he could get that some other time. I just nodded, smiling and blinking back a few tears.
We made our way to clothes, less of a general draw but still potentially gimme-ish. It took us awhile, but we found a great sweatshirt and t-shirt that, to be honest, I would have also loved for the boys. When I held them up for final approval, I saw that glint of recognition in BigBrother’s eyes. That “Hey, I kind of like that” look. I asked, “Do you think the boy will like these?” BigBrother nodded, “Yes.”
We made our way to the checkout line, where my children didn’t even ask for candy because the Earth must be tilting the wrong way or something, and added some silly bandz. Just because. After we checked out, we made our way to the drop off location and handed over our goods. The boys said-shouted “Merry Christmas” at the lady.
There was no whining. There were no tears. No one asked for anything — except for dinner.
I’ll be honest: I didn’t expect it to go that well. I expected to have to remind them — repeatedly — what the purpose of the activity was. I expected at least a couple of whines or tears, especially from LittleBrother who is three which we all know is the Real Age of Doom. I really expected some, “Well, can I get that too,” or, “This doesn’t seem fair.” I did give them pep talks beforehand, as did FireDad, about how we’re fortunate to get presents from mommy, daddy, Santa Claus and umpteen grandparents and relatives. And that not everyone does. And if we can help, we should. Because Christmas is about giving. And such. Maybe it worked? Maybe the stars were in line? Maybe the Earth really is tilted wrong.
I don’t know.
But I do know that my heart was warmed.
I’m encouraged. I know so many people have been talking about why they don’t write letters to Santa and generally shun the commercialism of the season altogether. I get those points of view; I do. I started out this holiday season in a very purposeful way not just so I didn’t get overwhelmed (though that was a biggie); I specifically wanted to make sure we were paying attention to what the season means, how it affects not only our family but others, and what traditions we can continue to create for our unique family.
I think we’re achieving that.
Giveaway Reminder & Self-Promotion Link Under the Cut
