Review: The Magic Room

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Dec 292011
 

Reading The Magic Room: A Story About the Love We Wish for Our Daughters by Jeffrey Zaslow during the month of my seventh wedding anniversary was a trip down memory lane.

Post-Ceremony

I didn’t even want to try on the wedding dress I wore as I walked down the aisle. My mom picked it out, which knocked it completely out of my desire-range. I tried on the other four that I had picked out in our first pass of Henri’s, and they weren’t right. I put on the dress my Mom had grabbed. And it was the one.

Dress Collage

I have fun memories of picking out my wedding dress with my Mom. I remember teasing my husband that he would need to stop drinking at our reception a few hours before he wanted to get me out of it, as it was rather complicated. I remember seeing his face. I remember feeling like a princess.

But I was aware, even then, that our marriage was more than my wedding dress. Or even the wedding.

Ceremony Candids

We didn’t have an expensive wedding. We did have a big wedding because my family is rather large. But we didn’t go into debt to host our own wedding. We had a lovely day, I promise you that. We were just aware that we wanted more than just one day. We wanted a lifetime.

A few people made jokes this year, as we celebrated our seventh anniversary, that we should beware that old “seven year itch.” I was pleased when The Magic Room let me know that the largest number of divorces now occur in the fourth year. We’re safe! Not that we’ll stop trying, working on things and through things, as the book states.

I did not appreciate the commentary and underlying judgment that those women who want a white dress, even though they already have a child, are somehow in the wrong. Considering the Munchkin was at my wedding, and I was most certainly wearing white, I felt this part of the book and the discussions about what is and is not right when it comes to marriage and family and children was just way too off base.

When it comes down to it, The Magic Room might be a great gift to hand to a woman who is just recently engaged and is looking for a dress. But, as a note, there is a love that mothers also wish for their sons, and it’s more than what’s in a dress or a wedding celebration.

 

Loved as much the 2nd time around.My husband saw me reading How to Be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway and laughed. I gave him “the look.” Such is life in my house. I could not be ruffled, however; this was my second time reading the book, and I was loving it just as much as my first read through in September 2010.

And, oh, do I love the book. It’s on my Top 10. (I don’t know where in my Top 10 as they fluctuate with season, but it’s there.)

I laughed at so many of the “tips” from the (fictional though fact-based) “How to Be an American Housewife guidebook” that Shoko was given after she married an American GI and left Japan. For example, my husband has type A blood, but I am type O. Apparently we should not have married. One line that made me snort water out my nose was this one, “In the majority of instances, working outside the home is frowned upon. If your husband wanted to have an independent, working woman, he would have married an American.” I told my husband that’s where he went wrong; he didn’t go far enough away to get a “good” wife. He then gave me “the look.” Oh well.

Other things made me catch my breath or feel any number of emotions. When Shoko yelled at her daughter (Sue) when Sue spilled something as Shoko taught her how to cook… I felt kind of guilty. Have I done that? Have I not been patient enough? Maybe. Maybe not. But my heart broke even more when Shoko showed up with Sue at the science fair and realized that they didn’t have the “right kind” of display. How was she supposed to know without being told? It made me realize how much we take for granted, having been born and raised in this country. We understand the idiosyncrasies of school — even if those same idiosyncrasies drive us crazy.

There’s just so much more I love about this book. I won’t bore you with all of it as I could gush for hours, but the underlying story is one that shouldn’t be skipped. It’s a must-read.

You can learn more at the BlogHer Book Club and join in some great discussions. And yes, if you live near me, you can borrow my copy. Just give it back. It’s honestly a top fave!

PS: I would have failed the guidebook had I been assimilating after marrying and moving. Like whoa. I’m a bit too … me.


[Disclosure: I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.]

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