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Nightmares

Sep 212010

It finally happened last night: I had a fire department related nightmare that involved FireDad’s death.

It was all very Ladder 49 with the red fire vehicle (our department has a pick up truck, not a sedan) arriving. But, to make the nightmare ten times worse, the fire department vehicle arrived at the funeral home where I was already gathered with my family… as my father passed away in my dream, too.

Talk about wanting to wake up. And I did wake up. At least twice. Each time I fell back to sleep, I was back in the same awful dream.

I — finally — woke up with that general feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I huddled under the covers listening to the silence of the house. The boys were not yet awake. FireDad worked yesterday, and he was not yet home. So I lay there, my mind counting down minutes and imagining awful things. What if they had a big city fire in the middle of the night? What if they were responding to an accident on the interstate and something went wrong? What if something exploded? What if, what if, what if?

And then I heard the front door open. A wave of relief washed over me.

The last fire nightmare that I had was in 2009, but it didn’t involve any harm to my firefighter. This is the first time I’ve had a dream in which my husband was harmed. And, of course, my subconscious had to go and kill him off the first time it dares to think up a dream sequence of this nature. I’m putting my subconscious on probation. Indefinitely.

Today he is helping with the interviews for new firefighters. I wonder who they will be and if their partners/spouses are worried about this potential transition. Maybe I was projecting their fears into my dreams. Who knows. All I know is that he gets some extra cuddle time tonight, which is really not a bad thing at all.

But hopefully this means I have met my quota of fire specific nightmares for the year.

MOOSE!

Parenting 8 Responses »

May 032010

On Friday evening, or rather, sometime in the dark night of Saturday morning, LittleBrother started screaming. Screaming. FireDad bolted out of bed to be met at our youngest son’s door by a sobbing, out-of-control, rocket pajama clad little man.

“THE MOOSE! MOOSE!”

At first I thought maybe he was talking about the moon. Maybe I hadn’t closed his blinds tightly enough and the full moon was shining in his window, “looking at him” as he complains that the sun so often does. I asked him if he meant the moon.

“NO! The MOOSE! Was COMING… *sob*… IN … *sob* … the HOUSE!”

We pulled him into our bed and he eventually calmed down. At one point, the moose was green. At another point, the offending, nightmarish moose was blue. Whatever his color, he was apparently horrific. He fell asleep and proceeded to kick, flip, flop and generally disrupt our sleep for the rest of the night.

On Saturday night, we tucked him into his bed. Around 10:30, the screaming began again. Once more we were met at his door by a frantic LittleBrother.

“THE MOOSE!”

We convinced him that the moose was gone, that he wasn’t in the house and that he was never coming back. Ever again. He looked at us with wary eyes but told us goodnight through leftover sobs. Thankfully he slept through the rest of the night. FireDad and I got a full night’s sleep.

I just can’t imagine what his two-and-a-half-year-old brain is conjuring up. The only two moose (mooses?) that he has experience with would be Moose A. Moose and the moose from the book Moostletoe. Neither of them seem all that menacing. I mean, sure, Moose A Moose is sporting some severely yellow skin which could be a sign that he’s fighting off some form of Hepatitis. It could be autoimmune but I wouldn’t share needles with him. And Moostletoe moose is absentminded enough to forget a Christmas tree which means he could be a raging alcoholic suffering from black outs. But, you know, they don’t look evil.

Or… do they.

Is that how LittleBrother sees Moose A Moose? I mean, I know that his songs can make me feel like sticking daggers in my ear drums but he still doesn’t look scary. He’s really quite nice if not slightly repetitive. (Are we there yet? ARE WE THERE YET?) Moose A Moose has taught us all about the seasons and recycling and being repetitive! (See?) Hardly nightmare material.

I just can’t figure out why LittleBrother has chosen to have nightmares about any moose at all. If anything, I think his nighttime panic would have something to do with his dad running into burning buildings. After watching Firehouse Dog, the two boys have been play-acting firefighter scenes with more frequency. They heard sirens in the distance the other day and had to run inside and find their helmets. Though maybe I’m not all that surprised that they don’t have nightmares about fire. I never seem to dream about people or situations that are currently going on in my life. Only high school, old boyfriends and random people chasing me through the woods. Maybe LittleBrother is conjuring up Evil Moose Visions because we’ve recently cut back even more on our TV time due to the gorgeous weather we’ve been having. Maybe he actually misses Moose A Moose. Unlikely but maybe.

Whatever the case, I sure hope he’s able to get some sleep soon. You know, because I like sleep, too. And a world free of Big Scary Moose…s.