I’ve learned things over the years as a fire wife. I (mostly) keep the scanner turned off when FireDad is at work. I go back to sleep (most of the time) when he’s called out to a fire in the middle of the night. I generally try to focus on the kids and the stuff of life that needs to be done when he’s working his normal 24 hour shift.

Technology makes that a bit more difficult.

I was behaving yesterday. I had the scanner turned off. We were spending a lovely day at home. I hadn’t talked much to FireDad on the phone but I knew that he had been busy, just as we had been at home. I called at one point but there was no answer. I figured he was busy with some fire station work. After the boys settled down in bed, I sat down to catch up on a bit of Facebooking when I learned from someone at the newspaper that there had been a house fire that day.

Instant panic.

Suddenly the fact that I hadn’t talked to my husband all day became a scary thing, not a normal thing. Was he okay? Were the other firefighters okay? Before my mind had time to go over all of the scary questions, the phone rang. It was FireDad. Instant fear relief. They had just finished washing up the trucks and he had taken his shower which is why he hadn’t answered earlier. All was well at the fire department.

Later I thought about how my calm day had been ruined by technology. I knew to avoid the scanner. Had FireDad told me about the fire when he called that evening, I would have been fine as it was after the fact. But those few minutes in between were not fun. Prior to the immediacy of Facebook and twitter, I wouldn’t have known about the fire without the scanner on (or being at work). Now, of course, I can find out about just about anything, almost instantly.

On the one hand, that’s good. On the other hand, I have gotten used to learning about most fires after the fact. It’s in my nature to be anxious and worry and, as such, I prefer hearing that the fire was big but everyone came out just fine. Should I now avoid Facebook (and even twitter) on FireDad’s shift days? Do I keep the computer turned off when he’s at work? It’s an option, perhaps a valid one.

Today’s fire spouses are now inundated with ways to keep up with their firefighters. While that can be a great thing, I continue to learn that every Internet application can be a double-edged sword. Whatever the case, I am glad that FireDad came home this morning and gave me my normal hug and kiss. Worries instantly alleviated more quickly than the immediacy of twitter… until his next shift day, that is.

We got our Girl Scout cookies just yesterday. We experienced a bit of a delay thanks to the Never Ending Winter of Doom. I had two of my favorites last night. Just two. I asked if it was possible to eat just two, considering that two Samoas pack 150 calories and I didn’t want to exceed my daily limit. While it was suggested that I just eat the entire box so that I didn’t have the same problem today, I did manage to eat just two.

Later, as I stared longingly at the box from across the room, I realized something. Samoas are a firefighter’s favorite cookie!

Firefighter helmet wearing Girl Scout! A female firefighter showing girls how to use a fire hose! Hooray for the Girl Scouts!

I then did a little Googling to see if there was any specific reason as to why the Samoas box features firefighting as a profession. During that search, I found a happy little story about a fire station serving as the delivery center for a troop’s cookie order. (And a few other stories that were similar!) I then learned of a special badge, the 2010 Gift of Caring Project, which encourages Girl Scouts to deliver boxes donated by their customers to firefighters, police officers, shelters and other non-profit organizations. I can tell you that FireDad’s station wouldn’t turn down a box of free cookies.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you why the Girl Scouts chose to use a firefighter themed picture on their Samoas box. They’re two great pictures and I send a big thumbs up to the Girl Scouts for including them because we know that women make wonderful firefighters. I would tell you that we were making the Samoa the Official Cookie of the FireFamily but, alas, FireDad doesn’t like coconut.

Guess I’ll have to eat them, two by two…

…all by myself. Done and done.

When FireDad and I started dating, he was finishing up his schooling to become a full Paramedic. He was working full-time at the local ambulance company. He was also in the Army. And I knew that his long term goal was to become a professional, paid firefighter. I don’t know why I was surprised when he got on the fire department and continued to work at the other two jobs.

Eventually he finished his time with the Army. Now he only works at the ambulance company on an as-needed basis which, thankfully, is a rare occurrence. Today being one of those days I am left to think about how firefighters often work more than one job. Quite honestly, it’s one of the reasons that working outside the home is so difficult for firefighter spouses. As Val from Fire Fighter Wife said,

If I held a 9-5 I’d have been fired many times in the last 3 years.

It’s true. Many things prompted my departure from the news station in 2006. I felt that I was missing too much of BigBrother’s developmental awesomeness. I was paying out almost all of what I was making in child care. As FireDad was still working both jobs and still active duty in the military at the time, our schedule was stretched past its elasticity. I had missed too much work due to scheduling conflicts, doctor’s appointments and child care issues. When I suffered a miscarriage that summer and my employer refused to be understanding, that straw broke the camel’s back and I started paving the way to come home to work.

Working at home with the fire schedule isn’t without challenges either. Trying to meet deadlines while chasing two little boys around our house (see pictures here) isn’t always the easiest thing ever. If I hadn’t left the news station, I’m sure that I would have been fired at some point since the fall of that year. Like Val mentioned, we’ve taken extended vacations, stayed an extra day or two at my parents or just generally had a relaxing day when we need it. As FireDad is working at the ambulance company today and the fire department for 24 hours tomorrow, I’m going to go ahead and claim Wednesday as a family fun day. But my deadlines will still loom and the work will need to be finished despite any amount of fun that is to be had.

Adding in my part time job has been an interesting transition that is working surprisingly well. I had thought that while the kids were still small and at home with me most of the time (BigBrother goes to preschool three days a week) that I couldn’t work outside the home. I’ve found something that may not pay the big bucks but allows me to stretch my creative wings just a little bit and talk to adults on occasion. So far the boys have mostly been with either FireDad or a grandparent when I’ve had to work. Once we had a day like today where our schedules simply conflicted and we had to call in our trusted, awesome babysitter. I think I’ve used her less this year than I did last year before I started working. Life is funny that way.

As I sit here and count down the hours until FireDad is home today so that I can get some of my things done, I am reminded to be grateful for the jobs we do have. We’re the lucky ones, especially knowing that so many families are struggling right now. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to schedule. Sometimes we’re overtired. We’ve had to make hard decisions and follow through with the difficulties that followed. But not only are we both working but we’re both working in/at things we love while making time for family. Yes, I think we are the luckiest.

Remind me of this the next time that FireDad is off on a fire for more than 36 hours, okay?

Today my husband celebrates five years with the fire department. I celebrate with him, of course, because the past five years have been amazing. Busy. Kind of crazy. Sometimes very difficult. Maybe a bit tiresome and exhausting at times. But amazing.

He hasn’t changed much. I mean, look at him.

He’s still a baby face as he was in this picture five years ago. I don’t think he’s been asked if he’s old enough to drive the fire truck recently but he still regularly gets carded. He may look the same but he’s changed a lot as well. In good ways… mostly.

The adjustment period of being on the fire department wasn’t always easy. Of course, we further complicated things by immediately conceiving and adding BigBrother to our family. And then we bought this house. And then we had LittleBrother. So from picture frame one to picture frame two in the above photo, a lot happened. Yet he never backed down from the challenge. I suppose that’s the firefighter in him.

I won’t say that I worry less when he runs off to a fire. We all know that I worry. I will say that I’ve gotten used to the worry which is entirely different than not worrying. Adjusting to the schedule was also a challenge, one that I think we both struggle with at times as well. I think, as I said above, we’ve struggled most while also undergoing other personal life changes and challenges. The sleep deprivation of the newborn phase doesn’t always work well with the sleep deprivation of firefighting or the sleep deprivation of solo parenting brought on by firefighting. But we made it through that… twice over.

For five years, I’ve sent him off to work every third day, knowing that he’ll be home twenty-four hours later. For five years, he’s come home twenty-four hours later and made the coffee, helping me get the day started for forty-eight hours together. For five years, we’ve learned more about the fire life and about each other. While this particular anniversary isn’t our anniversary (ours is in December), it’s still a milestone I think we both celebrate.

I mean, five years means three weeks of vacation instead of two. Celebration indeed.

I can’t wait to see what the next five, ten, fifteen and twenty years bring us with regard to fire stories, memories and family life. No more pregnant shots like this:

Or this:

But, most definitely more of this:

Happy Five Year Fire Anniversary, FireDad! We’re proud of you!

(But really… three weeks of vacation! WOOHOO!)