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When the phone call came on that Sunday morning, I immediately called my husband who was at work. I asked him to come home from the fire station which is where he always is when we have an emergency of some sort. That’s how the fire life works. After I talked to him, I called my best friend back in Pennsylvania, near The Farm, and sobbed at her to contact my parents’ Pastor. She’s the only other person I could have called in that state of incoherency; the only person that could have understood me through my tears.
While waiting for my husband to arrive home, I sat down and both tweeted and posted on Facebook about my grandfather’s sudden death. While people have come under fire for tweeting at a time of tragedy, it was the only thing left that made sense for me to do at the time. I was two hours from my family, waiting for my biggest support person to arrive home and I was absolutely hysterical. I needed to reach out to someone, to anyone.
I’m so glad that I did.
The response that I got was overwhelming (in a good way). Soon the reply tweets, direct messages, Facebook replies, e-mails and phone calls started coming. I still haven’t managed to reply to every single message that came in during the course of a very, very long week of intense grieving. I plan to but it’s been slow going. I received messages from others who had endured similar losses in the recent past. I received sympathy cards. In my snail mailbox. I received a box of Valentine cards (Toy Story, of course) from a friend who wanted to help me “check something off my to-do list,” as her card read. And I received real, physical help from someone I met during another tragic Internet gathering who helped me fix an error with my grandfather’s obituary when it ran without the photo and then showed up at my grandfather’s calling hours on his lunch break. These people reached out to me in my time of need just like my “real life,” just-down-the-road friends who picked up my mail and bought me a coat. Do you know why?
These people on the Internet aren’t just strangers on the other side of a keyboard. They’re friends.
I get frustrated when people dismiss friendships or relationships that were formed via keyboard. The fact that some of these friends sent apology emails, feeling guilty for not being able to attend services, lets me know that we’re more than just anonymous people hiding behind screens. Over the years, through blogs and forums and, yes, even twitter, lasting friendships have been formed. People care about one another. In the midst of this sudden and excruciating loss, I have been comforted by the fact that so many people care about the well-being of my family. Online and off, my family has been touched this week by the outpouring of love. I should make a small aside to say that my friends who live both in Ohio and Pennsylvania were also equally amazing during this very difficult time. Again, I have been so touched and so amazed by the support offered by so many loving individuals.
I’m still not “okay” with this sudden loss. I am still mostly heartbroken, still prone to tears at random moments when he crosses my mind in a memory. I appreciate this space here on the Internet where I can talk about him as I need to, when I can tweet about missing him, and not be reproached for grieving improperly. I am thankful for those who continue to reach out, to ask after my grandmother and to offer support. My grandfather was a loyal man and the loyalty that has been shown to me by my friends, near and far, is something that honors his legacy.
Good job, Internet. Good job. And, mostly, thank you. So very much.
I’ve written about my love-hate relationship with the Twilight series
Last night my crazy friend Mandy (@fouragainsttwo) and our other friend (@outnumberedmom) stood in line (with Mandy’s mom and two of her guests) for the New Moon premiere. I should start out by saying that I still haven’t watched the first movie
I’ll admit to having a nice evening into early morning. We ate at the Olive Garden, got kicked out of Starbucks (why do they close at 9:30 on a weeknight?), found out that Kohl’s is currently open until 11:00pm due to the holidays, purchased things we didn’t need and then made our way to stand in line. Mandy made us goodie bags with Twilight candies, calendars, the New Moon
Were the Cougars as bad at your showing as they were at mine?! They were worse than the teenagers.
There was a WINNEBAGO full of them in the parking lot!
I laughed. Out loud. There were quite a few “Twilight Moms,” as an article in our local newspaper put it yesterday. The crowd was comprised of a lot more teenagers than I expected (didn’t they have school today?) but the “cougars” were out in full force. I do suppose that our group qualified as such. Great.
As for the crowd, they weren’t too obnoxious while we were waiting though I do admit to thinking that anyone who left their water/pop/juice bottle and other assorted pieces of trash on the floor needs to be taught a thing or two about manners. In the theater, there was the initial squeal of delight when Edward, the vampire everyone seems to adore, came on screen. A similar gasp of approval came when Jacob, the werewolf, was first seen and, of course, again when he took off his shirt. I still maintain that his head is too small for his body and shoulder span and do not see the attraction. I prefer my men to be thin and rather pale. (Have you seen FireDad? I mean, honestly.) Also, head proportion is key.
The movie? Oh yes, we were there to see the movie and not just experience the crowds and stay up way, way past my bedtime. I liked the movie. Hush now, don’t judge or flog me. I liked the movie more than the book, which is something I rarely say as I almost always hate book-to-movie adaptations. This is the rare exception as I so thoroughly hated the book that the movie simply had to be an improvement. It was greatly improved in the fact that it flowed better and didn’t drag on as unnecessarily as the book did. There were bits of annoyances for me, however, including the very awful sparkle-and-dazzle effect for when the vampires hit sunlight. It’s worse than a 1980’s special effect. Very bad. Some of the acting was annoying. I love Bella but if I had to listen to her breathe one more time I was going to laugh out loud.
All in all, I had a thrilling time. I still don’t see what my one friend sees in Jacob but I love her all the same. Mandy owes me some coffee and a nap for dragging us out. (Just kidding, I think.) All that said, I really don’t think I’ll be making the midnight premiere for Eclipse. I might go see it in the theater but on a Tuesday afternoon when swooning teenagers are in school or still sleeping (as I think it’s planned as a summer release). I’m still tired as I write this at 2:17pm. I’m just grumpy because I’m sure the teens that were in attendance last night are up-and-at-em today while I feel like I got hit by a truck. Cougar, maybe, but I’d allow Edward Cullen to bite my neck if it meant I never again felt this old and tired and would never need sleep again.
You can read Mandy’s thoughts on the whole event here. But really, she owes me coffee.
We had plans to go to our local state park lake beach today. We woke to a gray sky. And then it rained. And it was only 71 degrees when it was originally supposed to be 84 and sunny. We thought about it. We looked at the radar. We looked at the forecast. We figured we had a three hour window to play.
It was the best decision ever.
I love watching these two little boys become friends. Sure, they’re brothers. And I can tell you that they can fight just like brothers. If one dares to touch the other’s Buzz Lightyear, the screams could make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. (And, yes, we have two Buzzes. Two Woody dolls. Two Buzz costumes. I’m not silly.) But when they hold hands and squeal happily about the water? When I hear BigBrother yell, “LittleBrother, come play with me!” When I look at how LittleBrother looks at BigBrother? It’s all worth it. They’re brothers because of who their parents happen to be. They’re friends because they’re choosing not to beat each other silly at every last turn.
He’s not crying or in pain. He’s laughing. Because the water is just too much fun. He’s changed a lot as of late. It’s catching me off guard. He has lots of questions, lots of words that I didn’t know he knew. He’s got some attitude thrown in for good measure which my friends assure me accompanies the age of four. I don’t want to think about how he’s almost four and starting his second year of preschool and is just so… big. I want, instead, to listen to these laughs. I want these memories. I also want a lack of smart mouthing but my friends also assure me that I’m out of luck on that one. You win some, you lose some.
Such a different child, this one. What would cause tears from his older brother only serves to make this little guy laugh. He spent a large amount of time at the lake on his belly in the super shallow water, “fwim-ming,” as he says it. He scooched himself along the bottom of the lake, swimming as only he knew how. He loves the water. He loves a challenge. He also loved to lick the water. And, being my second child, I’m less worried about him ingesting lake water. It happens. He challenges me in ways that are different from how BigBrother challenges me. And I love him for it. I love them both for it. But where did my baby go? Why does he know the word “fwim-ming”? Why does he know how to say, “I. Do. It.” And, of course, at the top of his lungs? Where has the time gone?
We went with friends. And for that, I am glad. The boys had a blast. The girls had a blast. And I had a great time talking with my friend on our blanket. We took a chance, planning anything outdoors during this strange, strange summer. We didn’t really know if we would get our beach time in but we had to give it a chance. I’m so glad that we did. It’s been a strange summer with all of this weird weather.
But pictures, moments and days like these make me realize that it’s also been a beautiful summer. Indeed.
It took me awhile to make friends when I first moved to Ohio to be with my best friend. But it happened, gradually and over time. And nothing makes you friends faster than children. In fact, prior to birthing BigBrother, I didn’t have any friends that weren’t also my husband’s friends. (I’m kind of shy, what can I say?)
In the weeks after LittleBrother’s birth, however, I happened upon one friendship that grew and spawned some others. It’s been a blessing of a year and a half to get to know these other women and their many children. While I seem to be the baby of the group, they don’t (usually…) treat me that way.
Today we got together for a “playdate” which is just really another word for, “I NEED TO TALK TO ADULTS!” I brought the rest of the rainbow cake that you saw a preview of yesterday (tune in tomorrow for a post all about it) and the kids had a good time together. Because of my friendships with these women, my sons have automatic friends. They may be outnumbered when it comes to girls versus boys but, at these ages, it doesn’t seem to matter too much. One heartwarming moment was watching one of the oldest girls feed LittleBrother his cake as he was having trouble.
Mmm, friends.
And cake (BigBrother is pleased, obviously).
Let’s hear it for friends!
(They’re talking about coming to BlogHer next year as well. Encourage them!)
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See other friend shots over at this week’s You Capture theme at I Should Be Folding Laundry.
