Apr 132012
 

There are people who knew you before you had kids. Who you knew before they had kids. Friends who knew you when you were younger and more dramatic, if possible. Friends who brought you Wendy’s and went through storms — literal and figurative — with you. Friends who introduced you to your husband.

Sometimes those friends disappear, not out of malice; it is what it is.

Farmer Friends

But sometimes, even though the distance is far and the tweets are few and far between, a car pulls into a driveway, a family piles out and you pick up right where you left off. Just with more kids than last time.

Farmer Friends

We were so happy to spend some time with old friends today. Our best man, his wife and their two beautiful daughters stopped by for a couple of hours on a road trip. I snuggled one baby girl and watched as my boys flitted over the other. I felt that tug of the wish that they lived just a bit closer as I watched my husband and his old best friend talk while two little boys and two little girls ran around and around, or, at least sat cuddled in arms. I watched LittleBrother climb all over our friend. I watched my husband hand the older girl a frisbee. I cleaned baby puke off of my friend’s arm.

Farmer Friends

There are friends that will simply always be.

Today we laughed at how things have changed as the kids ran about and spilled water and maybe almost flirted with one another. We’re different people, that’s for certain. But there are friends for whom that difference doesn’t matter.

Farmer Friends

I know that every last one of us is thankful for every last one of them.

Oct 092011
 

We went to the city park to play earlier this week.

It went poorly.

The boys had been playing for about five minutes when I heard a little girl’s voice scream-screech-coo BigBrother’s name. She ran up to him and he kind of jumped around a little bit. He grabbed her hand and ran her over to me.

Mommy! This is Scream-Screech-Coo girl from my Kindergarten class! I’m going to play with her now!

And off he ran.

While LittleBrother watched them run away. From him.

I stayed seated, wanting to be a fly on the wall as LittleBrother played this one out. He stood still for just a few seconds before chasing after the other two as fast as little legs could take him. He called out his brother’s name in his own little voice, but BigBrother was already running off in another direction with Scream-Screech-Coo girl. Every time LittleBrother caught up to the older two kids, they would be leaving. Leaving him behind.

I sat still and chewed on my lip.

On the one hand, BigBrother should be allowed to play at the park with his friends. I recalled a recent trip to the county fair in which a mutual friend of both boys only wanted to ride with LittleBrother. BigBrother had been upset, and we had talked about how sometimes we have to let the other brother play with someone else.

But it’s hard to be the little brother sometimes.

This scene played out, over and over, for about 15 minutes. I watched LittleBrother get more and more frustrated, but he was determined that those two were going to play with him. I didn’t want to step in and demand that BigBrother play with him. Not true: I wanted to, but I didn’t. Parenting is a social experiment, and I just let it play out.

Eventually LittleBrother came and sat next to me.

BigBrother won’t play with me.

Well, his friend showed up. We didn’t plan it that way, but sometimes these things happen.

The tears welled up in his eyes. “I just wanted to play with BigBrother. He was at school ALL DAY and now he won’t even play with me.

I gave him a hug. It’s hard to be almost four, to have shorter legs, to not be in school yet, to think the sun sets on your brother’s head — and learn that it doesn’t really.

Well Booey, it’s like when your friend only wanted to ride with you at the fair. These things happen. BigBrother still loves you. You’ll play again soon.

He got over it and played in some leaves near me until Scream-Screech-Coo girl left and BigBrother could chase him for awhile. All was well with the world.

Today at the park, another one of BigBrother’s friends showed up. I cringed. But this friend is a youngest child… and worked hard to include LittleBrother. He didn’t always keep up. And once he fell off of a toy trying to do things that the older boys were doing. But he felt included.

Eventually the friend left, and my two boys ran off to play for a bit before we had to go home.

Victorious Brothers

I breathed a sigh of relief, happy that they have each other.