Without further explanation, here’s what I’m thinking about today…

Apparently the end of October is upon us.

BigBrother’s last soccer game is today. It would figure, seeing as how FireDad is working. I’m kind of glad the season is over, even though BigBrother seemingly loves soccer and has made some great strides in his game this year. The reason? The communication from league/team to parents has been worse than ever. Games and practices were cancelled — and I never received a call. It wasn’t just me; other parents on our team complained of the same. As such, I don’t feel like we’re going to the End of Season party after the game.

Especially considering my back is out. Again. I don’t really know what to do. I stood up at the Halloween party yesterday evening and almost passed out because the pain was so intense. I cannot continue living this way. I cannot continue gaining this much weight because I can’t work out. I cannot continue ignoring that this is not a horrific, life-altering pain that needs dealt with — but I also don’t know how to deal with it. So, I sit and wonder.

The Halloween Party at Dillon State Park was really quite awesome. The younger crew only did one loop (out of a total of three). It was the perfect sized route, resulting in one full pumpkin of candy. We cooked hot dogs, ate taco salad and chili and the kids ran around chasing each other. BigBrother’s costume is muddy and hot chocolate-y, and I’m over it because he had so much fun. I took some amazing pictures throughout the day and I’m just so glad that LittleBrother got over a tummy-woe so that we were able to go.

Our friends were joking that we’re all old. We’ve got multiple back issues, heart issues and other mental and physical health ailments. We miss coffee for doctor’s appointments. We laughed, but I’m hoping we all come into a healthy year in 2012. Mainly because I want to have coffee with my friends on a regular basis!

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post at All Things Fadra’s weekly post.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

[Reminder: Stop, Drop & Blog is now on Facebook!]

If you like the meme, feel free to do one yourself and leave a link in the comments or tweet it with the #momspotting hashtag. Or don’t do it. No pressure, I promise.

1.       Which expensive electronic device do you most often let your older children abuse or your baby drool on?

Our family desktop. Now, to be fair, it was purchased (just recently) with the knowledge that it would be used by the kids. But sometimes I do cringe when I walk in the room and they’re actively touching the computer screen with their grubby little fingers. What? They’re my kids. I can call their fingers grubby if I want to! I researched pretty darn hard and well (we went with HP… again) and feel kind of secure that they won’t totally trash it to smithereens. We do have rules. Of course, we also have a rule that they should use their inside voices. That works well. Not.

But he looks cute, doesn’t he?

Also? I now have the smallest computer screen (on my laptop) in the whole family.

2.       How many take-out restaurant numbers do you have programmed into your phone?

Two. Both are local pizza joints. Why only pizza? That’s the only take-out in our area. Welcome to Small Town, Ohio. Do I get bonus points for also having the library programmed in? I do? Sweet.

3.       How many hours of television do you so totally not let your kids watch a week?

I really hate this question. I don’t really know a daily, in-and-out total. I pay attention to what they watch. I make sure we’re doing other things. I observe their cues and schedule No-TV Days when they are needed. But do they watch more than the recommended none for LittleBrother’s age and two hours for BigBrother’s age? Yes and mostly. Don’t judge me. The Bible says not to. (Name the comedian.)

4.       Do you think people who say “we don’t watch television” at playdates but really mean “we just watch DVDs” are lying liars from Liarville?

Maybe. We do prefer DVD’s to television simply because of my background in working for television news. Commercials are evil. They are. You can argue it with me but the truth is that they are made with your/my child in mind and they do, in fact, want our kids to say, “Oh-em-gee, Mommy! I haftahavethatRIGHTNOW!” That said, DVD’s do count in screen time so those who think they’re not letting their kids watch “television” by going that route are slightly delusional. Or Lying McLiarpants from McLiarville.

5.       How many miles have you driven with your child and not one device of electronic entertainment in a single car trip?

Seven. It should have been six but have you ever driven two small children, by yourself? A bathroom break takes eons. Also, if the radio counts, then I’m out. And? I won’t be doing that again. That was silly.

6.       What’s your record for calls to the pediatrician or Ask-a-Nurse in a single day?

Three. To be fair, the first and second were because I accidentally hung up on the nurse when I hit a button with my chin. The third was to inform her that, yes, he did puke again. All over me. And that we would be coming in. With my laundry.

7.       What’s the sexiest thing your husband/partner could text you after a hard day?

Your wine is waiting. Or, your wine is waiting and the kids are asleep. Or, your wine is waiting and the kids are asleep and I bought us a hot tub and installed it while you were out and, you know, you look really sexy in that bathing suit of yours; I’ll be waiting. That said, the last option doesn’t fit in a text message so I can safely say that’s never going to happen.

8.       What’s your favorite iPad joke?

The iPad is not a joke. It is beautiful. Gorgeous. And luxurious. But, no, advertising, even in the form of press releases, has no affect on us, does it?

9.       What’s the dumbest parenting tool, gear, gadget or device you ever bought?

A potty with a foam seat ring. You know what happens with a foam seat ring? IT SOAKS UP THE URINE. Do you know what that smells like after a week or two? Also, add in the stroller that came with the “travel system” that we purchased for our first son (BigBrother). Not only was it too big and poorly made but we almost never used the thing.

10.   How many years will it take for your child to become more tech-savvy than you?

Have you met BigBrother? He’s working on it. It may be his life goal. Or, wait. His life goal right now is to be a Space Ranger. If he accomplishes that, I would say he’s more tech-savvy than me/us by far. That said, I’m pretty on top of things. I don’t want to think about having to ask them to fix my computer/TV/hover-craft. I’m the Mommy, dang it.

I encourage my readers not only to follow the #momspotting hashtag and join in the conversation but to visit the Family Connections forum. We’ve been having great conversations on everything from Facebook to how we can possibly have time to blog/tweet/etc if we’re actively parenting to making our marriages better… online. I have really enjoyed the give and take of information, ideas and laughter. You should join in. (Also, if you’re touched by adoption, stop in the adoption forum where I’ve been spear-heading some discussion.)

I’m working on this project through the end of March. If you have anything you’d like me to broach either on twitter or the Family Connections forum regarding technology and parenting, drop me a comment, email or tweet.

More on Christmas Eve later. For now, check out more Wordless Wednesday at 5 Minutes for Mom!

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BigBrother got a card in the mail earlier this week. It wasn’t his birthday. Though the envelope was lime green, St. Patrick’s Day is still a week and a half away. Neither my parents nor FireDad’s are that early with holiday cards. I opened it, wondering who it could be from. And what for. Perhaps an invitation to one of his girlfriends’ birthday parties? I shrugged.

I began reading. And got all weepy all over myself.

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BigBrother,

When I went down to the nursery for a little bit today, I saw that you shared your cookies with the other children. That was so kind of you. (Smileyface)

Lady in the Church

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These are the little things that I love about our church family. These are the reasons that we chose to be members of this particular church. These are the moments that I want for my boys as they grow up within the church. I had my own moments like these. Moments when adults reached out to me to make me feel special and wanted within the walls of the church, and, as such, within the larger umbrella of the capital-C Church. Those adults who took the time to reach out to me and show me that love and compassion made a difference in my life. I want the same for my boys. Because, try as we might, FireDad and I won’t be able to be everything to both boys. They’ll find us dull and boring at some point. Other adults are needed in their lives. I’m glad that they are already accumulating a wide array of loving, awesome people.

Plus? Did you read that note? My kid shared! MY TWO YEAR OLD SHARED COOKIES! THAT is love!

Love Thursday is back. Get in the lovin’!

It’s not always quiet in our house. It used to be. Back before BigBrother came on the scene. And, honestly, even after for awhile. He was pretty quiet in his younger days. Then he began talking. And never shut his mouth. Add in the fact that his volume knob is stuck on Outside Voice mixed with constant car noises and, well, it’s just not too quiet here.

I’m not really quiet. If you know me, I’m kind of loud. Not outgoing. Just also stuck in the Outside Voice mode. It’s a trait in my maiden name. But even though I’m loud, I cherish quiet moments. You know. Those still quiet moments during which you can actually hear yourself think! After both boys are down for the night and I’m sitting with my book on the couch. The moment after I’ve found my “spot” under the covers and have stopped moving and shuffling under the sheets. The sound of snow falling in the middle of the night. Yes. Apparently my quiet moments are at night.

I’m able to catch some quiet moments here and there during the day. Some days, not all days. In this picture, BigBrother was actually asleep. LittleBrother had been put down for a nap that didn’t last very long. So, FireDad went into rock him in hopes that he would go back to sleep. I walked in to find this moment of quiet beauty. I love nothing more than FireDad having a quiet moment with either of the boys. It warms my heart. It makes up for all the noise. It gives me energy to make it to the next quiet moment.

Here’s hoping that your Love Thursday is filled with a quiet moment or two.

There are moments that I will remember forever. With each of my children, I have a running list of special moments between “just us.” The one-on-one time with each child is hard to find at times because life gets in the way, people and work need attention and each child has their own list of personal needs that sometimes interrupt time with another. But memories are being made. It’s good.

Right now, I’m so very happy that I have a nursing relationship with LittleBrother. We get multiple moments per day to just stare at one another. To be honest, BigBrother usually runs into the room and asks fifty-two questions, flies an airplane, runs a truck over my toes, asks to hold LittleBrother, whines when I say no and runs away screaming. But those are special moments in their own little way. He’s my mover and shaker whereas Little Brother, well, he’s my chill baby.

Sometimes I use these moments with LittleBrother to regroup a little bit. That’s a little easier to do now that I’m not in any pain since he got his tongue tie fixed. I can now tilt my head back, close my eyes and relax for a few minutes. That is, when I’m not smiling back at milky-smiles. In fact, our first feeding in the morning is usually not super productive because all he does is smile at me, over and over, like he is so happy to see me after not seeing me all night long. It warms a Mother’s heart, I tell you.

I know breastfeeding is good for him. I know all of the pros. I’m glad to be doing the “right” thing for him when it comes to nutrition. But, right now? It’s just as much for me as it is for him. I didn’t think I’d ever be one of those women who talked about the bonding and actually enjoyed the process. Especially when I was in pain and trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with our latch. But oh, I love our moments together now. Even our hour long, cluster feedings from eight to eleven in the evening. (Hey, I get to lay on the couch and watch prime time! New shows! Woo!)

Since LittleBrother had his tongue tie fixed, I have a free hand now. (I previously had to make sure everything was going well and support with my free hand.) So, I’ve been snapping nursing shots like it’s going out of style. I took this one yesterday as LittleBrother took a celebratory drink after his first four times rolling over. (!) This shot shows love in so many ways. Nursing. Cloth diapers (that’s a new Mutt from the last stocking). And that special bond that LittleBrother and I are forming. Love in the small, everyday things. Or, repeated everyday things. That’s the best.

Love Thursday is back! Join in!

More Wordless Wednesday here

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OMGMYHAIR.

I’m having a hair crisis. So, I thought I would share seven random things about my hair and then include more info about my hair crisis and beg the intrawebz for some advice. And so, here we go.

1. I found my first gray hair at age eighteen. Yes, eighteen. That gray hair is the reason I have dyed my hair all kinds of random colors. My mindset: they’ve got to be covered so why not have some fun with color? That train of thought, of course, worked to destroy my hair once or twice.

2. Every time I broke up with a boyfriend (or, in other words, got dumped), I cut my hair. Seriously. Every time! And since I was mostly the dumpee instead of the dumper, I guess you could say it was a way for me to show some control over something in my life. And it was also a way to “strike back” at the nincompoop who dumped me. I have awesome hair and it was always a favorite of whatever boyfriend I was dating at the time. So, my skewed logic said, “I’ll show them! I’ll chop it off!” Which makes no sense in retrospect. I should have grown it out. And been a hair model.

3. While I’m no longer busy breaking up with boyfriends (read: getting dumped), I still cut my hair when I’m going through major life changes that I can’t really “control.” Got pregnant with BigBrother? Chop. Left work to stay home? Goodbye hair! Got pregnant with LittleBrother? Huge chop-o-rama! I’m letting it grow again. No pregnancies in our future so maybe I’ll have butt-length hair. Doubtful. Change is always just around the corner.

4. I haven’t dyed my hair since BigBrother’s first birthday party. (I had to cover the gray!) And so, with that, my hair is 100% my veryowncolor from root to tip. (Including an alarming amount of gray hairs!) I meant to. I keep meaning to. I actually have hair dye in my bathroom. But this is part of the hair crisis. More to come.

5. In middle school, the trend was to color your hair with those smelly fruit markers. They didn’t show up real great on my really dark brown hair. I was bummed.

6. My only foray into blonde-ish-ness ended up poorly. I got blonde highlights. And went away to college. Which meant that I was showering in different water. And the highlights turned orange. Bad time. Bad, bad time.

7. I had an unfortunate haircut at the beginning of high school. It was very short. And I didn’t know how to style it. So it was basically a boy haircut. And I also had braces. And glasses. And was chubbier than I would be in later high school. And oh, it was just a bad time. FireDad thinks the pictures from this time are funny. I think they are humiliating!

So, what’s this hair crisis?

I mentioned part of it. The whole gray issue. I’ve got these grays. An increasing number of grays. An alarming increasing number of grays. I know they need covered because they’re driving me insane. (And don’t say, “No they don’t! Embrace your gray!” I’m not quite twenty-seven yet. I have no desire to embrace gray.) The problem? I’m in love with my 100% natural hair color right now. All those years of dying, I had forgotten about the undertones and great mix of shades I have in my natural hair color. I don’t want to cover it! Sigh.

And the second part of the crisis is the cut. I’m letting a shaggy-cut grow out. And I’m nearing the mullet range in the back. (See picture.) When it’s wet, you can see the mullet-ness. I don’t want to lose too much length but I’m not sure how to cut it right now so that it remains easy (I just dry it right now) but less mullet-y. When I think about it for too long, I’m tempted to get it chopped pixie-style. But that’s not my favorite look for me because my ears? Well, they’re not pixie-style size, let’s say.

And so. Now you know seven random facts about my hair. Gimme some ideas for my crisis!

I know what today is. And yes, I got FireDad a card. FireDad got me a card. We got the boys some cards. And BigBrother got a book that I meant to give to him last Valentine’s Day but forgot about because I have an awesome gift hiding place. I’m making pancakes. And we have a heart themed craft today. But our photo on Love Thursday? Isn’t about hearts. And chocolate. Or flowers. Or anything like that.

Because this little moment happened just last night.

As we’ve been working on finding an appropriate night time routine for BigBrother to help beat the bedtime battles, we’ve added in an extra long reading session as our last stop on the evening’s events. We’ve always been big book people. We’ve always read books at night. But now we make sure that we’ve done everything else (cleaned up the toys, had a bath, brushed teeth, pajammafied and so on) before we all climb into BigBrother’s toddler sized bed and read some books. Sometimes LittleBrother is sleeping in his own bed during this process. Sometimes he’s awake and hanging out with us. Last night he was sick (yeah, LittleBrother caught it all and now has the croup) and so he was strapped to my chest in (one of) the Mei Tai(s) and enjoying the night time routine with us.

It’s moments like these that fill me with love. I mean, bedtime battles really aren’t great. But last night wasn’t a battle. It was a surprising joy. I love having both of my boys with me as I share my love for books. (In fact, that book we’re reading? Was mine. Totally has my maiden name written in my Mom’s handwriting on the front title page.) I love relaxing as best you can in a toddler bed with two other kids. I love having them THISCLOSE to my being. I love these moments.

I don’t need a special day to tell my family that they are special. I don’t need a special day to show or share my love. I do it, to the best of my ability, on a daily basis. These moments together are what love is about. That everyday, routine kinda love is what it’s all about.

You can keep your chocolates. (I’m not a chocolate fan anyway.) Gimme my boys and a book and we’re golden. Oh, and the Husband, too. (He’s behind the camera on this shot because he loves me enough to capture some of these moments for me. Bless him!)

Love Thursday is back! Join in the loving feeling. Oh, and, okay. Happy Valentine’s Day!

We’ve got some “found love” this week.

I was reading a book while nursing LittleBrother. I was rocking and nursing and reading. I am a Mom and by that nature I am a multitasker. I balanced the book on my knee, licked a finger and turned the page. This slip of paper fell out onto my leg.

“To Dad. Love Mom.”

It’s written in a child’s handwriting. I sat and stared at it for awhile, wondering what had caused the child to write the gift tag. A smile spread across my face as I thought about the love that must have (or might have) been involved. I wondered to myself if my boys would ever do anything like this to or for FireDad or myself. I reveled in the love that children have for their parents, the love that FireDad and I get to see in BigBrother’s hugs and LittleBrother’s smiles.

Children are such gifts themselves. And when they offer up little gifts like these, well, we’re the lucky ones, us parents. Truly.

In case you didn’t know, Love Thursday is back. Get back into the loving groove!