My friends think I’m a bit off my rocker, but it’s true: I hate Johnny Depp.
I mean, I don’t hate him as a person; I’ve never met the guy. I’m sure he’s a kind, gentle soul. But unlike the majority of the females I have come in contact with, I do not find him “hot” or “smokin’ hot” or “sexy” or anything remotely attractive. I usually want to give him a bath, a shave and a haircut. To be fair to Depp, I kind of have a type of man I am attracted to, and it never involves long hair, guyliner or scruffy facial hair.
As such, I cannot bring myself to watch movies that include Johnny Depp. I have not seen: any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (an aside: I am also not attracted to Orlando Bloom), his Sweeney Todd, his remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, his Alice in Wonderland, the whole movie of What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Sleepy Hollow, and really, so on. In fact, the only movie that Johnny Depp has been in that I have watched in its entirety is Edward Scissorhands. I don’t dislike that movie, but I certainly haven’t watched it again. I hear he’s a great actor, but I just don’t seem to find interest in his movies. (Or, really, most movies. I’ve also never seen a single Clint Eastwood movie — much to my husband’s dismay — and he isn’t a scruffy dude.)
Why am I telling you this?
Because I’m going to see a Johnny Depp movie this weekend. Fortunately for me, I won’t have to look at him.
I’m taking the boys to see Rango tomorrow afternoon. I’m mainly doing so because we’ll be in the tail end of a 36 hour shift, and occupying the boys for two solid hours seems like a good parenting decision on my part. Also, I have a crazy hankering for movie popcorn.
A good friend asked me if I wanted to go as we got ready for Hip Hop Cardio the other evening. I told her of my Johnny Depp aversion and she looked at me like I had two heads. But then I realized that FireDad would be pulling that 36, and I would likely be crazy by Saturday afternoon, seeing as how the forecast accurately called for rain, rain and more rain. So, I said yes. And now we’re going. Because when it comes down to it, making my kids happy matters to me. (And it sure is much easier to swallow when we have movie passes that we got as a Christmas gift.)
We don’t go to the movies often — with the kids or without. It’s a special treat. I think we’re deserving of a special treat this weekend. Despite a glimpse of spring a couple of weeks ago, it’s been rather cold and awfully rainy; floodlike, if you will. We are kind of on each others’ nerves. And I don’t just mean that the boys are annoyed with one another. All four of us are fighting off that If Spring Doesn’t Get Here Quickly And We Have To Spend One More Day Inside We Might Spontaneously Combust fever that is reportedly going around many households right now. I think we need an afternoon of childlike laughter, movie-made-escape and general relaxation.
And that popcorn.
