I’ve never been a big New Year’s Eve partier. Even in my most wild of college days, which weren’t all that wild, I never got into the whole New Year’s Eve Big-Shebang. In fact, one year found me taking NyQuil (I had a cold) and going to bed around 9:00, only to be grumpily woken up by phone calls at midnight. The first New Year’s Eve in our new/current house found me waking up to the sound of (illegal) fireworks at midnight which made me really grumpy as they woke my sleeping one year old.

What can I say? I like my sleep.

We usually like to stay in, put the kids to bed a little later than usual and see just how late we can really stay up. I’ll be honest: it’s rarely midnight. As much as I like my sleep, FireDad likes his even more. A few times we’ve talked about braving the elements and going to New York City (without kids) or even visiting Pittsburgh (like I did #10yearsago) or Columbus for their festivities. Then we remember that we’re old souls.

But this year we’re getting all wild and crazy.

We’re packing up the kids, two bottles of wine, a pot of meatballs, Mario Kart, an extra Wii remote and the camera(s) and heading… over to our friend’s house for games, food, drinks and apparently a Mario Kart race off. That’s how we roll. The sad thing is that this is the biggest plan we have ever had for New Year’s Eve in the history of our marriage. We’re awesome.

The truth is that our plans, while not all that wild and crazy, sound like a blast to me. Our kids get to have fun with other kids. We get to attempt adult conversation over the roar of five children racing, playing, laughing, talking and likely arguing over something. Did I mention the wine? I did? Just thought I would mention it again so that I can say FireDad is the designated driver tonight. Safety is so important. Remember that yourselves tonight, okay? Good job.

I don’t think I would be doing anything overly outrageous tonight even if my children were merely figments of my imagination. I prefer low key to lots of people and noise (except on Saint Patrick’s Day in Pittsburgh). Some of that may be my social anxiety. Some of that may be the fact that I prefer yoga pants to anything remotely hip. Some of that may be the fact that I don’t like today’s music. And, really, I think some of it is because I like to take time to reflect a bit on the year we’re closing the door on and that’s rather hard to do when you’re yelling at your friends just so they can hear you. I mean, I’m loud but I don’t like to yell at my friends. Often.

Volume aside, or perhaps in spite of, I’m excited for this evening. Good friends, good food and what will hopefully be a good time. Sounds like a great way to end a very good year, doesn’t it?

Happy New Year!

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Also, as a quick aside, I went with this for my January 2010 desktop. You can download it here. It makes me happy.

We did it. We survived our first Joint Birthday Party for the boys just yesterday. I say first because I’m afraid that there will be many, many more to come as the boys birthdays fall one week apart. I had and, really, still have some reservations about the concept of doubling up to have one birthday party for both boys, but the pros far outweigh the cons. For us, at least.

Before I jump into the pros and cons, however, I have to mention that this concept was a complete departure from my previously beliefs. When Britney Spears had her second son just days after her first son’s birthday, someone commented that she’d at least have it easy and could have their birthday parties on the same day. I exclaimed in horror that I would never do such a thing. That’s probably why LittleBrother was born exactly one week after BigBrother’s second birthday. While I am eight years older than my brother, our birthdays are only eleven days apart. My parents never threw a joint birthday party. I’d assume most of this was due to age. In later years when we both had friend parties, we each got to have a big friend party every other year. On the off year, we just had cake and ice cream and presents with our parents.

So I was staunchly opposed to the concept of dual birthday parties. Until I realized that throwing two parties in a seven day time period with Thanksgiving thrown into the mix seemed like sanity suicide. And, here we are, one day out from our Joint Birthday Party. Here’s what we think of it.

Pros

• Timing wise, it’s so much easier. One party and you’re done. Friends and family also find it easier to attend and neither child feels slighted as they would if a friend could attend one party  but not the other. Furthermore, if you have family or friends that have to travel quite a distance, like my family, they only have to do so once.
• One big cake or two little cakes instead of two big cakes. Hooray! We have a big family so we need a big cake. As such, if we were having two parties, we’d have to have two big cakes. This year, we got one big cake as they both wanted the same design. Next year we may go with two smaller (but equaling one big) cakes if they want a different design.
• No one feels left out. While we still make a big deal about their individual days (see below), the other one can feel left out if a party is thrown in honor of the other. I do believe that’s a life lesson (“not all parties are for us”), it’s still hard. One party ensures that two little boys feel special.

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• One invitation! Even if you don’t send it because you’re sidelined by the swine flu. Whoops.

Cons

• The realization of price. If you’ve only thrown singular parties in the past, you have been blessed to separate the costs. When the cost is thrown into one party, you may be caught off guard. Six balloons for each birthday boy resulted in a much higher cost than I expected. Sure, I would have paid the same for two separate parties with six balloons each. It’s just the realization of cost that is somewhat off-putting. On the flip side, you only need one set of plates as opposed to two. So, maybe it works out in the end.
• Age differences do matter at times. I’m the first to say that age doesn’t matter. Much. In a birthday party setting, it can. I had to help LittleBrother open his presents (though he got it by the end) so I couldn’t pay as much attention to BigBrother opening his presents. That kind of stings my Mommy Heart a little bit. Things like music choices and age appropriate games may be difficult for some age gaps or certain years. Age difference issues also come into play with regard to child-friend attendees. Keep that in mind when making your guest list.
• Attendees have to bring two gifts. Granted, like the realization of price, they’d be bringing one gift to two separate parties anyway but it’s that realization that can be a negative thing for some people.

Of course, the biggest con that every parent fears is that the children will feel slighted in some way. Everyone deserves their special day, don’t they? That’s why we still have a (small, homemade) cake with each boy on their individual birthdays. We also give them their birthday presents from us on their birthday-days, not at their birthday party. We want them to realize that they are special and that they are loved. We also want them to realize that they have family members who love them very much and want to be included in the celebration and, as such, it’s just easier for them to attend one party than two. Life lessons again. Shouldn’t birthdays be exempt from life lessons? I don’t know.

I do know that it worked for us. This year. I’m curious as to how it will work in years to come. Judy left a great comment on our previous post as to how her family made it work though that gives me hope.

My one sister and I are two years and one day apart and we used to have joint parties. Then when we were older, we would have parties on the same day but in different rooms of the house (doing the fun stuff separately but cake and opening present at the same time? I think???).

That’s an idea to keep in mind for the future when they’re old enough to entertain their friends on their own. That’s also an idea to keep in mind when we look to purchase our next home (three years from now) so that we have enough space to shuffle children off into separate rooms. Mark that down on my “want list” for our future purchase.

In the end, I’m really glad we went with the joint party. The idea of having another birthday party next weekend, Thanksgiving weekend, makes me twitch just a little bit. I’m sure if I made my family travel out here two weekends in a row just to endure a kid’s birthday party that they might be a little twitchy as well. I think we’ll have to revisit this topic again, each year, to assess and reassess whether joint parties actually work for us but, as for this year, it was a success.

Exhausting. But a success!

If you have experience with joint parties working, not working or needing to change your approach over the years, I would appreciate a comment!

The boys had a wonderful time at their joint birthday party today. (BigBrother’s birthday was the 17th. LittleBrother’s birthday is the 24th.) I’m exhausted. I’m pretty sure the boys were exhausted as well as they fell asleep very quickly. My boys were decently behaved (one issue with some loud yelling that made a guest cry) and said their thanks yous.

The theme, of course, was Toy Story.

I think, perhaps, I’ll write about the pros and cons of having a joint birthday party for your children tomorrow. As for tonight, I’m pleased with everything that happened, glad to have spent time with friends and family and thrilled that I have two healthy, happy boys that are fast asleep in their beds. I’m not far behind.

Birthday parites are exhausting.

In late Spring, I got a great idea, a “flash of brilliance,” really. The idea was to throw a surprise party for my Dad’s 50th birthday party. I figured that living two hours away would present a few minor difficulties but, in the end, it would be okay. My brother lives 20 minutes from my parents and we have various family members in and near the area who could run errands as necessary. I figured it would be a wonderful experience.

And it was. But, oh, surprise parties are difficult.

You see, in order to get my Dad off of The Farm, we had to create a story about his two brothers owing one another a golf game due to some bet that one lost to the other regarding some sports game. We threw FireDad into the golfing mix, making it his first official golf outing with the men in the family. Surprisingly, my Dad didn’t even raise an eyebrow. (To be fair, the party was thrown the weekend before his party so he really wasn’t suspicious.) The problem, however, was that we sent away four very helpful men; four very helpful men who usually put in a lot of work on big family party days. Cue panic!

My Mom had a mini-meltdown with about two and a half hours left. To be fair, I was also kind of worried but I figured that two hosts panicking wouldn’t really result into anything resembling a put-together party. So, I switched into Super Hero mode, kicked her out of the kitchen and took over the coffee, tea and pierogies. (And clean up.) Somehow this worked though I was really just flying by the seat in my pants by assuming that she needed someone to take over the kitchen. Eventually we were ready. And minus a random yellow jacket sting to LittleBrother’s cheek, the party went off without a hitch. My Dad was surprised. My children were well-behaved. And everyone said that they party was lovely.

But I’m still exhausted. I told my mom that we’ll throw her a known-about party so that all people involved are available to help set up. Also, I don’t have many pictures from the party because chasing my almost two year old and almost four year old around while hosting a party is difficult. At best. But we had so much fun. Ate too much food. And celebrated the best Dad on the face of the Earth. And the best Papau to two little boys. (Although only one is pictured because LittleBrother was snuggling his Daddy and being checked out regarding the yellow jacket sting. It’s good to be married to a fire-medic, no?)

I’m so glad that we followed through with this idea. And that I can finally talk about it. I’m not good at secrets or lying or basically anything that a surprise party entails. Did I mention that I’m exhausted?

Happy 50th, Dad! You were worth it all!

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[To see the invitations and a review of Vista Print's services, visit Stop, Drop & Review.]