Nov 012010
 

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I want to fall back in the leaves and not care about my hair or my clothes or grass stains or allergens in dust form or to-do-lists or deadlines or laundry or what’s for dinner or birthday parties or Christmas presents or any of it.

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I want to laugh that pure, gut-jiggling laugh that knows no fear, no judgment, no worry. I want to throw leaves in the air and watch them fall. I want to wiggle down in a pile of leaves and smell the Earth and remember an easier time.

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I want to dump leaves on the head of the people I love the best because I know that they will feel my love from this one random action. I want to hear their laughter; I want to feel their laughter jiggle my own soul.

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I want to go to sleep at night, not in leaves but with leaves in my head. I want to know that I’ve lived the day as fully as possible, as close to the “best” as I can. I want to let go of the cycle. I want to be enough. I want to feel this way — these ways — forever.

Jan 012010
 

Happy New Year!

New Year’s Eve was great. The kids played together, danced and raced their Mario Karts. The adults played card and board games. Everyone, including every last child, stayed up until midnight. I got to kiss FireDad as the ball finally dropped. And, minus packing up to leave, not one child cried. All evening. There wasn’t even much whining or arguing. It was a New Year’s Eve Miracle!

Which means it’s now 2010. Time to make some new goals for the year.

1. Reading Goal: 50 books. I set a goal of 60 last year and made it to 57. I find this acceptable. I’m dropping back down to 50 because I know it’s attainable with everything else that I do. I have my 2010 read list on Goodreads set up and will really be striving to keep it updated this year. More over, I have another goal to add 100 books to the boys’ library this year and I’ll be keeping track of their new books on Goodreads as well.

I thought about discussing my five favorite books that I read this year but, I’ll be honest, I can’t pick five. I will say, however, that The Time Traveler’s Wife was not only my favorite this year but likely ranks as my favorite ever. I need to re-read previous favorites and make that final decision.

2. Photography Goal(s): Participate in (and finish!) Project 365, get better at sports photography, purchase my new personal dSLR and push myself creatively. As you know, I’m working part-time for the local newspaper. Minus the getting better at sports photography, which will come in time, my goals are all personal. I failed at Project 365 last year but have faith that 2010 will be my year of completion. Similarly, my plan in 2009 was to purchase my new dSLR but then my laptop died mid-year and that took over the purchase money. Then I got the newspaper job and my plans for sticking with Canon flew out the window (we shoot with Nikon) so I’ve been busy researching Nikon purchases. As far as pushing myself creatively, it’s harder in the winter but I know that the reason I fail with Project 365 is because I get stuck in a rut. I hope to start following some more blogs, join some great challenge flickr groups and generally surround myself with other awesome photographers (likely virtually) to keep me on task. Also, I’m going to make a Vision Board (not just about photography but largely).

3. Fitness Goal: Tone up and/or lose 10 pounds. I don’t want to discuss the failure of last year considering, at one point, I exceeded my goal and then lost it. I do, however, want to get back on the fitness train this year. I’m fine with certain aspects of how my body has changed but I desperately need to tone up. I am not needing to lose a ton of weight so I’m not applying to be a #mamavation mom but I have considered the sistahood. I’m also back to tracking things on SparkPeople. I think I’m going ahead with the purchase of Wii Fit Plus. When warmer weather comes around, I might do something more outside. Not sure yet.

As per usual, I hope to stay organized, be a great mom and continue with some of my professional writing goals. (Which I’m apparently doing in ways that are bigger than I could have imagined at this time last year.) I’m hoping that at the end of 2010, whether or not these three(+) specific goals are fully “finished,” that I am a happy and healthy version of myself and that my husband and children are the same. Really, in the end, that’s the ultimate goal but, for me, that happiness is tied to some of these things as is my health.

Here’s hoping your 2010 is happy and healthy, too!