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Postpartum Clothing: Learn to Hide and Accentuate Properly

Mar 072008

I’m three months postpartum. Tomorrow will mark 15 weeks since LittleBrother made his exit from my body and entered the world as we know it. I’ve let everyone know that I’ve reached my postpartum weight (but still have some weight to lose to hit my 2008 weight goal) but am still lamenting the fact that my pants simply do not fit. I’m learning to accept it basically because two kids keep me too busy to worry about it … all that much.

That said, I have learned how to dress for my body type during this transitional period. I’ve got a couple of tricks up my sleeves… and pant legs… and stuffed in various places. I thought I would share. I’m not all that great at taking pictures of myself as we do not have a full length mirror right now so I’ll save you some hassle and go shopping for you, links and all. (That said: I’m thrifty, especially for transitional clothes. You’re not going to find any high-end clothing options on this list.) Since Spring is (hopefully? It’s dumping snow right now…) on the horizon, I’ll be linking you to Spring options.

1. Embrace the long shirt. I’m thankful that this is not 1999 and we are not being inundated with the Britney Spears of Olden Day, belly shirts and all. The current style is something you can use to your benefit. It’s the long shirt. I currently prefer my shirts to hit, at minimum, past the belt loops on my jeans and really, really love when they make it all the way to my hips. This benefits the postpartum shape in many ways. Longer shirts are less likely to ride up and expose muffin tops. The extra length provided by a longer shirt gives you a higher chance that your muffin top can be covered if you are nursing in public. Go with the V-neck and, as such, embrace your bosom. Accentuating your neckline and chest will help take eyes off of the tummy area. Old Navy has a plethora of long shirts anymore, but these are a few of my favorites. For a dressier option, try a kimono shirt like this from Chadwicks.Scared about V-necks (or other lower cut necklines) and your newly inherited breastfeeding cleavage? See next.

2. Get a nice fitting tank and wear it under everything. If you can find a nursing tank that fits nicely, more power to you. Lately, I’ve just been wearing normal tanks. Some have a shelf bra while others are simply normal, everyday tanks. The important part? “Nice fitting.” If your tank fits slimly along your shape, it will help hide a lumps and bumps along the way. Another thing to look for in a tank is length as well. I like mine to be the same length as the shirt I’m wearing or just a smidgen longer! Old Navy has some nice long layering camis. Honestly? I wear a nice fitted tank/cami under all of my shirts. Even the ones that you can’t see because they are a crew neck shirt. Why? I like feeling fitted instead of floppy-flabby. I have a few colors that I wear often that go with basically anything and a few “fun” colors that go with a few specific outfits. If you’re being money-savvy, go with black, white and, if you need a third, gray.

3. Accept your size and buy pants that fit. Don’t splurge by any means. Find a sale. Find the clearance rack. Find a going-out-of-business sale. And don’t forget about the likes of eBay. But find a pair of jeans that fit. I have two pair in the size that I am currently wearing, a darker pair and a lighter pair. I dress up the darker pair and the lighter pair are for “whatever.” Then, after you have your pair or two of jeans so you can feel like a normal human being, invest in some yoga pants, formerly known as “stretch pants.” I have a pair of “khaki” colored ones, two pair of black, and one pair of brown. They are comfortable. The khaki ones are easy to dress up if need be. And, as I learned last time, they “shrink” with you better than your jeans will, meaning that while your jeans will eventually sag in your rear end area as your weight comes off, yoga pants just fit whatever shape you are. As for the butt sag? Avoid it. When you start to have butt sag, list the jeans on eBay and buy the next size down. Trust me. Butt sag is less flattering than Muffin Top.

4. I’ll be avoiding shorts until another ten pounds are gone. That’s why I’ll be making use of skirts, capris and, well, maybe a pair or two of bermuda shorts. Skirts hide thighs rather nicely. As long as the bermuda shorts aren’t skin tight to the thighs and more of a wide leg variety, they’ll help hide thighs as well. Capris should also, if you’re attempting to hide thighs, be more of a straight legged, wide leg cut than a fit and flare cut.

5. Accentuate your hair with colorful scarves. Pull the look up and away from your trouble areas by really driving home your hair. Don’t like your current hair? Play with some dye. It was the summer after BigBrother was born that I dyed my hair bright! red!

6. Wear Confidence. Sure. You’ve got stretch marks. And an inner tube around your midsection. And your thighs are three times their normal size. And your breasts could take over small or medium or perhaps large sized countries. But, for the most part, all the other women you’ll encounter? Are too busy worrying about their stretch marks, their thighs and their own personal hang-up areas to notice your own. The ones that have the audacity to actually point out one of your flaws in public are probably trying to make up for their own physical short-comings by drawing attention to yours instead of theirs. And, besides, why are you hanging out with someone who points out your flaws? Get new friends while you’re at it.

You know what your trouble areas are and they may not be mine. The point of dressing in the postpartum weight loss phase is to be comfortable in your clothes. You don’t want anything too tight. You don’t want anything that’s so loose that you get lost in it. You can look nice and feel comfortable, both physically and emotionally.

Allow yourself time to lose the weight. I’m giving myself this entire year. Be thankful you’re not a celebrity. Tyra Banks had clauses in all of her contracts that said if she had a baby she only had ninety days to get back in shape. NINETY DAYS. I’d already be fired as I’m over that limit. Don’t put unreasonable time limits on yourself. It took nine months for you to get in that shape (or less if you had a premature baby) and while some will lose it sooner than those nine months you shouldn’t hold yourself to someone else’s experience. Allow yourself to be unique in this. Celebrate your achievements but don’t “punish” yourself for setbacks.

If I could only take my own advice, I’d be swell!

Let's Talk About Shape

Health 9 Responses »

Feb 192008

No. Not shapes. I’m not talking triangles and ovals, the latter of which are fondly referred to as “vovals” in this FireHouse. No. I’m talking shape. Singular. My shape. Because, wow, I’m not familiar with this shape at all.

Day After Ovulation, 2006 I’ve hit my Pre-Pregnancy Weight. Mmhmm. Just a week shy of the three month mark and my scale is weighing me in a pound below what I weighed on my first prenatal visit. But before you shower me with confetti and start sending cookies, well, don’t. At all. Because this? Ain’t nothin’ to celebrate.

You see. The scale seems to be reading the same weight. But my pants? They didn’t get the message and don’t seem to remember how to fit. And the shape, singular, that my body now possesses? Well, it’s nothing like my pre-pregnancy shape. I’ve got flub in places that weren’t all that flubby. I’ve got a pair of hips that have not yet returned back to their normal place of function. I mean, I expected my breasts to be completely different. But everything else?

This is all further confirmation that no two (or more!) pregnancies and their postpartum healing process function in the same manner. After BigBrother, I was in my normal pants by three months but didn’t hit the pre-pregnancy weight until almost ten months later. What’s with this opposite action status this time around? What’s going on with these daggone hips?

All that said and contrary to what this post might lead you to believe, I’m still not that fixated on the whole issue (as of yet). Our lives have been ridiculously busy (in good ways and bad) all this month (and most of last) and I just don’t have time to worry about it too much. In fact, I’d like to be worrying more. I’d actually like to make the final decision and join whichever gym I think will work best. But I’m too busy to clean my bathroom. (No, really.) So the gym isn’t a high priority. I’ve been eating healthy, keeping my calories up like I should since LittleBrother is breastfeeding. But since the weather is ridiculous and random, we haven’t been walking. Except up and down the stairs with eighty bagillion loads of laundry.

And Now... I know that my body has changed. Pregnancy does that. I don’t regret it at all. But I just figured that this process would function like it had in the past and things would follow the same sort of rules. Guess not. Perhaps there are no rules. All I know is that these two-sizes-bigger jeans are starting to fall off and sag on my rear end but my regular size ones don’t yet fit. I don’t have the in-between size as I didn’t need it last time around. Perhaps I’m due for a shopping trip. Perhaps my hips need to get the memo about my weight loss.

Perhaps I’ll just continue to be creative with my clothing choices and mask the weight with various slimming layers. Until summer comes. Stupid summer.

Yes, that’s my current state of the belly. It’s my own personal The Shape of a Mother up in here.

Now I Feel Even Worse

Parenting 27 Responses »

Feb 042008

At Least Football Makes us Smile.. Though Our Team Didn't Play I’ve been struggling. I’ve written about finding my groove with two. And it’s true. I’ve found a groove. We’re getting things accomplished. The laundry isn’t too far behind itself. I’m making meals. I’m getting books read. And I occasionally can shower and put on makeup and feel, almost, like a human being.

But my emotions? Yeah, I don’t suppose I’ve discussed those, have I? And why, you ask?

This is freaking hard, folks. And I don’t like to admit when I’m having trouble. But, goodness sakes, this is hard. By the end of every evening, I’m left feeling like a total failure as a parent. I’m usually close to tears, insanely overwhelmed and nursing a pretty major headache. I sit and recount my day and wonder where things went wrong.

As of late, BigBrother has had some sleep issues (which caused me to buy The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers but, unfortunately, the book is 400 pages long and I fear I’ll never find time to finish and figure out what is wrong). Those issues have made evenings and mornings rather hellacious. Starting and ending your day with screaming and tantrums and whining and tears is not particularly joyful. Add in the fact that LittleBrother has taken to cluster feeding in the evening and I’m just downright exhausted by the time I get to lay down in bed. Which is never for the whole night, whether it’s one or the other that needs tending to in the dark, midnight hours. My favorite was the time that they were both up three separate times which made for six awakenings for me.

This article on Parent Dish only made me feel worse. Not the article, exactly, but the comments from those who have been there and done this. Really? It’s supposed to be easier when the second one comes around? Then what the heck am I doing wrong? While my anxiety has been easier to handle, most likely because of my work in therapy and the mechanisms I have learned to properly cope with it, this overwhelming feeling of “I Suck As a Parent” is hard to get past! A few commenters spoke up and said things that fall in line with how I’m feeling but the general majority agreed that things are just “easier.” And I’m left feeling even more alone.

Trust me, I love these two boys. But it’s hard. Yes, things are getting done both house wise and kid wise. Children are being bathed and fed and loved and played with and so on. But this Mama is tired, worn out, overwhelmed and worried. And now I feel all alone. I feel as if all these other mothers have something that I missed out on when they were handing out parenting abilities. Seriously? My eyes are filled with tears. I feel inferior. I feel like I’m short-changing my kids.

But that’s enough of the pity-party, right? I’ve got laundry to do.

Waiting the Weight Off: It's Slow Going

Goals, Health 14 Responses »

Jan 142008

I’ve decided to write about it. It being postpartum weight loss. I said I might. And then I never mentioned it again, kind of wishing that my silence would magically make the weight fall off and, as such, leaving me with no reason to ever mention it again. Negatory.

I gained 34 pounds with LittleBrother. Not too shabby, if i do say so myself. (And I do.) I gained 59 with BigBrother, mind you. I was feeling pretty good when, at one week postpartum, I had lost 20 of those 34 pounds. I smirked at myself in the mirror, gave my jelly-belly a goodbye nod and continued on my way. Just before Christmas, almost at the one-month mark, I was weighing in with anything lost from 25-30 pounds, depending on what I had eaten the night before or whether LittleBrother had already sufficiently drained his breakfast feeding by the time I stepped on the scale. Again, I smirked at myself, feeling kind of smug and carried on my way.

I don’t think the holidays helped.

To be fair, I’m still weighing in (naked, first thing in the morning) at anywhere from 25-30 pounds lost. However, never-ever more than 30. Never. And we’re fast approaching the two month mark. The jelly-belly is now waving at me. Or doing the hula by itself. Or something. I’m feeling kind of discouraged.

Which is downright insane.

I haven’t done jack to lose weight yet. I haven’t dieted. (Hi! Breastfeeding!) I haven’t started exercising. (Well, more than chasing a two year old around the house entails.) I have been good and continued drinking 64 ounces of water per day but that’s about as healthy as I get right now. I’m still too deep in the early exhausted days to think, “Perhaps I should fit in some crunches today.” With what free time, I ask you!

Acknowledging that I haven’t done anything to actively lose 25-30 pounds, other than give birth to a kid who weighed seven pounds, seven ounces, well, I should, in theory, be elated. I’m still kind of bummed. I find myself wishing for extra time to tone up my arms. Or do those crunches. And I know I could do squats and lunges and the like with LittleBrother strapped to me in any number of our slings and carriers but, well, I’d much rather take a nap.

Once the weather begins to warm, I’ll be able to put kids in carriers and strollers and go for walks. That’s how I lost all that weight with BigBrother. Nothing melts off the weight like taking a walk with twenty extra pounds strapped to your chest. But it’s a smidgen too cold for things like that just yet even with hats and mittens and appropriate cold-weather babywearing gear. Maybe by the time it warms up I won’t feel so exhausted. I say this as BigBrother is skipping a nap. Which only makes me even more tired to think about.

You may note I didn’t tell you my actual weight. I won’t. I also won’t tell you my clothing size. Or my bra size. Or any such nonsense. I am not a fan of being a slave to a specific number. Some read my numbers and tell me, “Oh, I’d die to be that size.” Others tell me, “Oh, so how do you feel being fat now?” I think both need to shut their mouths. I will note that I was fifteen pounds higher than my normal weight at my first prenatal appointment so I was either carrying extra weight when I got pregnant or bloated up faster than … fast. Either way, I’d like to lose a total of, from this point, twenty pounds. You don’t need to know what that number is. Trust me.

My next installment might have pictures. We’ll see. Today is a no-picture-of-Mommy kind of day. Growl.