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“It is the memory that enables a person to gather roses in January.” – Unknown
January is over. I can’t say that I’m sad to see it go. What started off as a wonderful month has become an increasingly difficult year. The death of my beloved Grandfather has thrown me for a loop, leaving me unable to find the words to properly blog over the past few weeks. With some other severe health concerns in my husband’s family, FireDad and I are somewhat dreading the continuation of this year. That sounds so negative and unlike me, unlike us as a whole.
And yet, while I’ve been immensely sad, the quote above applies. Something about the passing of someone so dear allows us to reach into the back caverns of our mind and remember things we simply hadn’t taken the time to pull to the front of our brains. I know that I was lucky. Or, rather, I am lucky to have been so loved by such a wonderful man. I am the luckiest of all of the grandchildren in the fact that my children not only got to meet their great-grandfather, their Big Papau, but they got to love and interact and play and laugh with him as well. I feel sad that my brother and his wife won’t know that same joy. I feel even more sad that the other grandchildren won’t get to introduce their future spouses to Grandpa. Maybe I am the luckiest. I do try to remember that.
Despite the grief of this month, it’s been a rather successful one. I’ve read eight books and, no, I don’t know where I found the time. I hit my deadlines though it was very difficult for me to do last week and contributed to a lack of blogging here (and there). I drove around Ohio. We just finished the floor in our kitchen and dining room (more about that project here). (By we I mean my amazing husband with a smidgen of help from his dad, his grandpa and a phone call to one of my uncles.) I started yoga in a class setting and really kicked up my own personal workout time, successfully losing two pounds this month (though I may have gained that back this weekend during a lovely day out with my friends). I started hosting two separate (awesome) giveaways. I had a post syndicated on BlogHer (go leave a comment on my parenting in public post if you would). And I took (at least) one picture, every single day.
In 2008 when my maternal (step)Grandfather died, I failed that very week at Project 365. I really thought that the passing of my paternal Grandfather would do the same. Instead, in the confusing hour after that phone call, I picked up my camera and expressed my grief visually. I may fancy myself a writer but the photographer in me comes out when I can’t find the words to say what I’m feeling in the deep recesses of my heart. January, of course, proves difficult in this region when it comes to creativity and lighting. I do hope that during the month of February I can work on being a bit more creative and not just flubbing through the project. Either way, I’ll keep at it.
January was difficult but it seems that I not only survived but managed to be rather successful despite the fog of grief. I will admit that even though they often bring tears, remembering and sharing stories and memories about my Papau has been a welcome distraction from the sadness. It’s been my way of gathering roses in this bleak midwinter month of January. Though, I’ll be honest, I’m ready for Spring as I have an idea to honor my Grandfather.
Plus, I’m cold. Brr.
New Year’s Eve was great. The kids played together, danced and raced their Mario Karts. The adults played card and board games. Everyone, including every last child, stayed up until midnight. I got to kiss FireDad as the ball finally dropped. And, minus packing up to leave, not one child cried. All evening. There wasn’t even much whining or arguing. It was a New Year’s Eve Miracle!
Which means it’s now 2010. Time to make some new goals for the year.
1. Reading Goal: 50 books. I set a goal of 60 last year and made it to 57. I find this acceptable. I’m dropping back down to 50 because I know it’s attainable with everything else that I do. I have my 2010 read list on Goodreads set up and will really be striving to keep it updated this year. More over, I have another goal to add 100 books to the boys’ library this year and I’ll be keeping track of their new books on Goodreads as well.
I thought about discussing my five favorite books that I read this year but, I’ll be honest, I can’t pick five. I will say, however, that The Time Traveler’s Wife
2. Photography Goal(s): Participate in (and finish!) Project 365, get better at sports photography, purchase my new personal dSLR and push myself creatively. As you know, I’m working part-time for the local newspaper. Minus the getting better at sports photography, which will come in time, my goals are all personal. I failed at Project 365 last year but have faith that 2010 will be my year of completion. Similarly, my plan in 2009 was to purchase my new dSLR but then my laptop died mid-year and that took over the purchase money. Then I got the newspaper job and my plans for sticking with Canon flew out the window (we shoot with Nikon) so I’ve been busy researching Nikon purchases. As far as pushing myself creatively, it’s harder in the winter but I know that the reason I fail with Project 365 is because I get stuck in a rut. I hope to start following some more blogs, join some great challenge flickr groups and generally surround myself with other awesome photographers (likely virtually) to keep me on task. Also, I’m going to make a Vision Board (not just about photography but largely).
3. Fitness Goal: Tone up and/or lose 10 pounds. I don’t want to discuss the failure of last year considering, at one point, I exceeded my goal and then lost it. I do, however, want to get back on the fitness train this year. I’m fine with certain aspects of how my body has changed but I desperately need to tone up. I am not needing to lose a ton of weight so I’m not applying to be a #mamavation mom but I have considered the sistahood. I’m also back to tracking things on SparkPeople. I think I’m going ahead with the purchase of Wii Fit Plus
As per usual, I hope to stay organized, be a great mom and continue with some of my professional writing goals. (Which I’m apparently doing in ways that are bigger than I could have imagined at this time last year.) I’m hoping that at the end of 2010, whether or not these three(+) specific goals are fully “finished,” that I am a happy and healthy version of myself and that my husband and children are the same. Really, in the end, that’s the ultimate goal but, for me, that happiness is tied to some of these things as is my health.
Here’s hoping your 2010 is happy and healthy, too!
_
[For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.]
I didn’t want to read it. It, of course, being the Twilight series. Oh, that’s right. I ended up reading all four books. But it’s really not my fault. The fault rests on the shoulders of my friend’s husband. Here’s how the story goes:
He got her the book for Christmas. It wasn’t her style but she didn’t want to return it either. So, she started reading it. She liked it. After she finished it, she brought it to our weekly friend coffee get-together and tried to pawn it off on me. I laughed and said a firm no. Our other friend (whom some of you are getting to know) said that she’d read it first. I said, “I’ll read it if she likes it.”
Fail. That sentence would come back to haunt me.
Not only did she like it, she loved it. She immediately devoured the rest of the series. I was trapped. I put off reading the first book for about a month as I finished up some review books and procrastinated to the best of my ability. One night I found myself with no books left to read. At that point, I figured I wouldn’t get past the first chapter or two and could say that I tried. The first night found me 100 pages in and not hating it yet. I eventually liked it and finished it. Don’t judge me.
That’s not to say that I feel the book is well-written. It wasn’t. It drove the writer-and-editor portion of my brain slightly insane. But I finished it. I then began the second book, New Moon, and struggled through it for longer than it usually takes me to tackle a book, however long. I hated it. I mean, I hated it with the passion of a thousand suns. My two “friends” (if you can call them that) encouraged me that the third book, Eclipse, was much better and that the third and fourth books wouldn’t make sense if I didn’t read that (horrible) second book. I think the pages of the books must be laced with crack cocaine to make my two very intelligent friends spout such nonsense but, as per usual, I trusted their opinions. Perhaps the crack cocaine laced pages got to me as well.
I got to procrastinate the reading of Eclipse for a few weeks as I had to endure show week and three performances and the necessary time for recuperation. Once able to keep my eyes open, I read the third book in the teen vampire series. I didn’t feel one way or the other about this particular book. It was in this book, however, that I decided that I don’t really like vampire fight scenes. While not overly gory in this series, I just don’t enjoy the anxiety that builds with the setup of the fight and the worry that accompanies it all. While these vampires are “vegetarians” in their own right, I’d really prefer if they were also 100% pacifists. Make vampire love, not newborn war and all that jazz. But, alas, I survived Eclipse and immediately began Breaking Dawn.
Now, I didn’t hate Breaking Dawn. In fact, when it ended, I felt pleased. Everything wrapped up nicely with a tight little bow surrounding the words, not used in the other three, “the end.” Then something washed over me. It wrapped up too neatly. Like when family sitcoms dramas try to solve the problem by the end of their 30 to 60 minutes, minus commercials. It just doesn’t seem possible. Of course, one might argue that it is a book about vampires and therefore any legitimate form of possibility is tossed out the window. Still, it was too neatly closed and speaks volumes about the simplistic writing. Furthermore, this book, perhaps more than the other three, left such huge gaps in the story-telling that I wanted to scream. All four of the books, of course, annoy me in this way but this last book really had some glaring gaps that left me rolling my eyes.
And so, the question remains, what did this sci-fi-genre-avoiding, non-young-adult think of a young adult series in what I would call the “Sci Fi Light” genre? I didn’t hate it. I maintain that I never would have read them at all if it wasn’t for my friend’s husband. It’s just not my thing. I do, however, talk about sparkling in the sunlight now and make too many references to being a vampire. As such, you could probably say that I liked the story. I will clarify that by saying that I liked the story but almost hated the writing. One of my friends said that they were books that didn’t make you think and that’s why she liked them. For me, my editor brain was on overdrive. The writing really killed the series for me. Thankfully the story itself kept me afloat until that last page.
So, why did I keep reading? What won it for me? When it comes down to it, couldn’t we all use an Edward? I did feel kind of swoony about how he looked in my head. (I refuse to watch the movie even yet because I find the actor who plays Edward to be in desperate need of a haircut. The vampire in my mind was clean cut, for Pete’s sake.) If FireDad was a vampire, I’d change for him. (I said the same thing about the movie City of Angels. If he was a human and I was an angel, I would have fallen.) And that, in the end, is why I kept on keeping on through the last page of the four book series. I don’t regret having read it as I can now annoy my husband with references to vampires. But I wouldn’t read them again. I’m still not sure that I’ll watch this movie either. Or the next three.
But, seriously, have you ever seen my pale skin in the sun? Are you sure that I’m not a vampire?
