“It is the memory that enables a person to gather roses in January.” – Unknown

January is over. I can’t say that I’m sad to see it go. What started off as a wonderful month has become an increasingly difficult year. The death of my beloved Grandfather has thrown me for a loop, leaving me unable to find the words to properly blog over the past few weeks. With some other severe health concerns in my husband’s family, FireDad and I are somewhat dreading the continuation of this year. That sounds so negative and unlike me, unlike us as a whole.

And yet, while I’ve been immensely sad, the quote above applies. Something about the passing of someone so dear allows us to reach into the back caverns of our mind and remember things we simply hadn’t taken the time to pull to the front of our brains. I know that I was lucky. Or, rather, I am lucky to have been so loved by such a wonderful man. I am the luckiest of all of the grandchildren in the fact that my children not only got to meet their great-grandfather, their Big Papau, but they got to love and interact and play and laugh with him as well. I feel sad that my brother and his wife won’t know that same joy. I feel even more sad that the other grandchildren won’t get to introduce their future spouses to Grandpa. Maybe I am the luckiest. I do try to remember that.

Despite the grief of this month, it’s been a rather successful one. I’ve read eight books and, no, I don’t know where I found the time. I hit my deadlines though it was very difficult for me to do last week and contributed to a lack of blogging here (and there). I drove around Ohio. We just finished the floor in our kitchen and dining room (more about that project here). (By we I mean my amazing husband with a smidgen of help from his dad, his grandpa and a phone call to one of my uncles.) I started yoga in a class setting and really kicked up my own personal workout time, successfully losing two pounds this month (though I may have gained that back this weekend during a lovely day out with my friends). I started hosting two separate (awesome) giveaways. I had a post syndicated on BlogHer (go leave a comment on my parenting in public post if you would). And I took (at least) one picture, every single day.

In 2008 when my maternal (step)Grandfather died, I failed that very week at Project 365. I really thought that the passing of my paternal Grandfather would do the same. Instead, in the confusing hour after that phone call, I picked up my camera and expressed my grief visually. I may fancy myself a writer but the photographer in me comes out when I can’t find the words to say what I’m feeling in the deep recesses of my heart. January, of course, proves difficult in this region when it comes to creativity and lighting. I do hope that during the month of February I can work on being a bit more creative and not just flubbing through the project. Either way, I’ll keep at it.

January was difficult but it seems that I not only survived but managed to be rather successful despite the fog of grief. I will admit that even though they often bring tears, remembering and sharing stories and memories about my Papau has been a welcome distraction from the sadness. It’s been my way of gathering roses in this bleak midwinter month of January. Though, I’ll be honest, I’m ready for Spring as I have an idea to honor my Grandfather.

Plus, I’m cold. Brr.

New Year’s Eve was great. The kids played together, danced and raced their Mario Karts. The adults played card and board games. Everyone, including every last child, stayed up until midnight. I got to kiss FireDad as the ball finally dropped. And, minus packing up to leave, not one child cried. All evening. There wasn’t even much whining or arguing. It was a New Year’s Eve Miracle!

Which means it’s now 2010. Time to make some new goals for the year.

1. Reading Goal: 50 books. I set a goal of 60 last year and made it to 57. I find this acceptable. I’m dropping back down to 50 because I know it’s attainable with everything else that I do. I have my 2010 read list on Goodreads set up and will really be striving to keep it updated this year. More over, I have another goal to add 100 books to the boys’ library this year and I’ll be keeping track of their new books on Goodreads as well.

I thought about discussing my five favorite books that I read this year but, I’ll be honest, I can’t pick five. I will say, however, that The Time Traveler’s Wife was not only my favorite this year but likely ranks as my favorite ever. I need to re-read previous favorites and make that final decision.

2. Photography Goal(s): Participate in (and finish!) Project 365, get better at sports photography, purchase my new personal dSLR and push myself creatively. As you know, I’m working part-time for the local newspaper. Minus the getting better at sports photography, which will come in time, my goals are all personal. I failed at Project 365 last year but have faith that 2010 will be my year of completion. Similarly, my plan in 2009 was to purchase my new dSLR but then my laptop died mid-year and that took over the purchase money. Then I got the newspaper job and my plans for sticking with Canon flew out the window (we shoot with Nikon) so I’ve been busy researching Nikon purchases. As far as pushing myself creatively, it’s harder in the winter but I know that the reason I fail with Project 365 is because I get stuck in a rut. I hope to start following some more blogs, join some great challenge flickr groups and generally surround myself with other awesome photographers (likely virtually) to keep me on task. Also, I’m going to make a Vision Board (not just about photography but largely).

3. Fitness Goal: Tone up and/or lose 10 pounds. I don’t want to discuss the failure of last year considering, at one point, I exceeded my goal and then lost it. I do, however, want to get back on the fitness train this year. I’m fine with certain aspects of how my body has changed but I desperately need to tone up. I am not needing to lose a ton of weight so I’m not applying to be a #mamavation mom but I have considered the sistahood. I’m also back to tracking things on SparkPeople. I think I’m going ahead with the purchase of Wii Fit Plus. When warmer weather comes around, I might do something more outside. Not sure yet.

As per usual, I hope to stay organized, be a great mom and continue with some of my professional writing goals. (Which I’m apparently doing in ways that are bigger than I could have imagined at this time last year.) I’m hoping that at the end of 2010, whether or not these three(+) specific goals are fully “finished,” that I am a happy and healthy version of myself and that my husband and children are the same. Really, in the end, that’s the ultimate goal but, for me, that happiness is tied to some of these things as is my health.

Here’s hoping your 2010 is happy and healthy, too!

One year ago, I switched domains. We moved from our previous domain which included our last name (originally started as a wedding planning website) to this less obviously “us” domain. Some of my readers still remember our first and last names. New readers have found slip-ups here and there (and have kindly pointed them out). But, for the most part, we have enjoyed being the Fire Family for 2008. And we plan on continuing in 2009.

A lot happened blog-wise in 2008. We’ve hosted many a giveaway. We’ve reviewed a lot of things. We’ve passed on many safety tips. We’ve shared bits and pieces of our life; sometimes specific to fire life and sometimes just about living life as a family in general. We have met some amazing people over the past year: firefighters, paramedics, other fire families, other niche bloggers and other bloggers in general. It has been amazing. We have learned a lot from others this past year.

Personally, some of my 2008 resolutions panned out. I planned on reading 50 books. And I finished another one last night, coming in at 56 books for the year. I didn’t, however, keep my Goodreads list updated. So, I’ll add that into my reading goal this year. I did very well with Project365 until the day of my grandfather’s funeral. That day, I took no pictures. And I just never got back on the wagon from that point on. As for the weight loss? Well, I did lose the pre-pregnancy weight. But did not achieve the pre-pregnancy size. And so, after I hit that initial goal, I set a new 10 pound goal. I’ve lost two of that and, so, doing math, I apparently have eight pounds left to lose.

All that said, my 2009 goals?

1. Read 60 books and keep my 2009 Goodreads book list updated so that others can follow along with me. 60 books in one year means reading five books per month. I can totally do that, folks. I’m going to need book suggestions along the way. And, no, I’m not counting kids’ books because I’d be well over 60 by the end of the week. But, speaking of children’s books.

1a. Introduce 50 new books to the boys’ own library. (I say introduce because I first wrote “buy” but some of the books will be given to us for review but will still be added to the library. So, we’re going with “introduce” as the word.) As important as books are to me, I want my boys to continue to grow in their love of books. While we are huge library-goers, I also want to make sure they have their own books. (Not that they don’t. Remind me to photograph our books sometime soon.) This number should be no problem thanks to preschool and Scholastic book orders. I will keep track of what books are introduced via a Goodreads book shelf on my account. (Also, pass on suggestions, if you will!)

2. Participate in Project365 even if it turns in to Project312 or some other variation. I was pretty upset when I missed a photograph on the day of my grandfather’s funeral. And though I probably took a picture almost everyday since that September day, I just couldn’t somehow forgive myself for missing a day. A good friend has encouraged me this year to keep at it even if/when I miss a day. And, so, I’m going to. I feel very happy about it! (For those unfamiliar: Project365 is a challenge to take one picture, everyday, for a year. Or, you know, at least one picture per day.)

3. Lose those pesky eight pounds. They’ve been pretty stubborn. I don’t quite know how to go about it right now. I’ve gotten back to the YMCA since my foot injury and the general ick that BigBrother brought home from preschool twice over. I’ve joined another fitness class set to start in a week. I’ve decided that when I actually schedule my gym time at the beginning of the week, I am much better at sticking to it. But my guess is that I need to reevaluate what I am eating. I honestly have no clue how to go about that in a healthy manner. Time to do some research. I am, however, employing the site First 30 Days for some positive reinforcement in sticking with my goals. I encourage you to do the same!

I also have some goals for this blog as per a discussion over at Mom Bloggers Club. Basically? I want to bring you more fire related stuff this year. More safety tips. More fire videos. More fire related giveaways (books, toys, movies, safety gear). More inclusion from other fire wives/moms, husbands/dads, families and firefighters themselves. Just more general Stop, Drop & Bloggy type stuff in addition to the stuff that happens on the family side of fire life. I’m excited to see where that goes this year.

Goals aside, I hope that 2009 is a safe and happy year for you and yours. Sending our best from the Fire Family!

Here’s an update on me since joining the YMCA in August: I’ve fit back into some pants, not all. I’ve lost absolutely no weight. My arms are more toned. And FireDad says my butt looks great. And while the last of those points makes me feel pretty darn spiffy, it’s not quite the total package that I’m going for here!

And so, I joined the Our BlubHer Overhaul blog. (See my introduction here.)

In short, I have a new goal. If I can lose my ten pounds by the BlogHer conference next year, I will attend. I know. I’ve previously said that I won’t attend because of scheduling conflicts during that week. But I can make something work. Granted, for me to attend, I’m going to have to lose this weight no later than February 2009 so I can save money appropriately for travel and hotel and gifts to take home to boys. And that Husband. And, to be honest, if I can lose the extra five vanity pounds, well, I don’t know what I’ll do! Other than be super excited.

But, I need some help. I’m stuck. I’m honestly of the opinion that the stuck-ness comes with nursing and we’re not ready to wean. (He’s not even a year yet! Hush!) I won’t do anything unhealthy that could adversely affect my son, our nursing relationship or even my own health. And so, I just keep trucking along. I’ll get there. Right? Someday?

This week is far less busy than last week. Yet I’m keeping the same goal of three workouts at the gym and three home/outdoor workouts alone or with the boys. I think I need to suck it up and lengthen my amount of time on the elliptical, don’t you think? My legs, arms and general body cry at the thought but, well, it is time.

In the meantime, head over to Our BlubHer Overhaul and read about others’ weight loss goals and how they’re reaching them together. And leave me a comment, here or there, with some kind of inspiration. Because, man, if I don’t see some weight loss soon… sigh.